My Fair Lady
by Momosportif
Summary: When our usual trio takes note of Miranda's potential to be a real man-magnet and more confident lady there's no stopping them from attempting a makeover but can men alone really handle the task of turning her into a lady? Character's are Hoshino's! Enjoy
1. Bust or Bust

"Ah… It really is a shame," Lavi reclined in his chair, grin playing across his lips and boots ducking from under the table to settle atop its pristine surface.

"Mphf?" queried Allen as eloquently as he could with a mouth full of Jerry's special curry (a secret family recipe).

Lavi looked melodramatically across the cafeteria,

"Oh… it's nothing… Nothing important."

Allen swallowed and opened his mouth to give the expected response of 'no, tell me!' or 'tell us anyway!' but a curt, cold voice beat him to a reply,

"If it's not important then why did you even bring it up? Unless of course you're trying to get us to pester you until you tell, in which case you should just say what you have to say or shut up."

"Well, if you insist, Yu."

"I don't. I really don't care. I just hate the sound of your voi-"

"Miranda."

Allen paused in wiping his mouth to protest, thin brows arching, "Lavi, that's _so_ rude! How could-"

"No, no, no Allen! You miss my meaning-

"I don't under-"

"Have you ever looked at her?" Lavi jerked his head towards the cafeteria line where the woman in question was hovering anxiously at the end. Allen followed the motion and then looked back a few times in confusion,

"Well, of course, but-"

"No, Allen," Lavi laced his fingers and leaned across the table, smirking, "I mean _looked_ at her."

"Che."

"Lavi! How could you," Allen looked from the line to Lavi again, flushing in anger and embarrassment, "of course I haven't… 'looked' at her! I'm only fifteen!"

"When I was fifteen-"

"Che!"

Lavi paused and looked at Kanda. Kanda was looking away, eyes tense and hand covering his mouth. He re-crossed his legs and began to jiggle his foot in an uncharacteristically nervous way. Lavi began again,

"When _I_ was fifteen-"

"Che!"

"You got something to say, Yu?"

"Don't call me that," replied Kanda distractedly. "Allen doesn't care what you did when you were fifteen and neither do I."

"I can speak for myself, thank you!" snapped Allen, still flushed. The austere swordsman didn't even spare his usual nemesis a glance. Lavi's single calculating green eye had been trained on Kanda and a thoughtful expression commanding his features during these exchanges but now he smiled knowingly and sat up from his position, crooning,

"I see, Yu! So one of you two _has_ noticed! Knew you had it in you!"

"Che!" To Allen's surprise and Lavi's glee the usually cold exorcist went scarlet and put his face in his hands, muttering so that he was barely audible, "Damn you, Lavi! I never looked until you mentioned it, but now… Ah!" his steely eyes flashed up, wrought with despair. "They're _huge_."

"WHAT!!" shrieked Allen hoarsely, leaning in towards Kanda. Without meaning to, the boys had all crowded close together in a way not too unlike high school girls whispering about a particularly attractive football player. "What are you talking about?! What are 'they'?!"

"Mmm… I know… her ass isn't too bad either-"

"LAVI!!"

"DAMARE!" Allen and Kanda protested in unison, Kanda slamming his palms down on the table and Allen cringing while becoming steadily more distraught.

"Gehee!" The redhead giggled at his friends' pink countenances and turned slyly to join them in watching the object of their discussion shaking as she stepped up to order.

"Oh my G-"

"IIE!" Kanda collapsed and Allen covered his eyes, throwing his head back while Lavi continued to watch.

Miranda wove back and forth in front of the counter as though she was dodging some invisible, pesky insect.

Kanda and Allen both peered back out from their hiding positions, unable to tear their eyes from the scene before them but clearly suffering from pangs of self-disgust.

It appeared as though she was having some difficulty ordering.

The threesome observed the frauline shift from shaky to bobbing to stock-still.

"So… why exactly did you say she's a shame, Lavi?"

Jerry's head appeared from the opening, soon followed by his torso as Miranda sank to a heap on the floor soundlessly.

"Well…" Lavi began.

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! I don't deserve to eat here anyways, I- Thank you, I'm sorry!" Miranda leaped up and bolted from the ordering line, nearly knocking into Jerry (who withdrew with admirable speed) and thoroughly shocking a considerable number of eaters with her outburst.

"Yeah… _that_," he finished with no need for elaboration.

"Mm…" Allen murmured in agreement, relaxing considerably now that their flustered peer had made her exit. "I wish we could help her out…"

"We? I hope you mean yourself and Lavi by that, moyashi." Kanda stood, picking up his tray as he did so.

"Ah, come on, Yu."

"Kanda!" Allen's common sense was overpowered by his unbreakable will to do good and he reached out, grabbing Kanda's sleeve. Kanda whipped around with an expression of complete and total fury, lip curled as if to spit out some outraged comment but no words came. "She's our friend." Lavi very wisely chose to make himself unaccessible and uninvolved in this conversation by shoveling a huge amount of breakfast link in his mouth and picking up the newspaper hastily after getting a good look at Allen and Kanda's expressions. "She's _your_ friend and, whether you admit it or not, you care about her. It's your duty as much as it is Lavi's or mine to help her gain a little more self-confidence." After a few more moments of intense glaring, Kanda jerked his arm out of Allen's grasp.

"Che. I don't have any friends." Kanda walked on to the end of the table and came back around on Lavi's side. He stopped and turned to Allen, tossing his hair. "But a weak exorcist is a useless exorcist. And I doubt you two alone will be able to teach her what she needs to know."

"So you'll help?" Allen brightened considerably. Kanda looked away.

"I'm not making any promises." With that last cold remark, the laconic exorcist continued on his stalk to the tray line and then out the large cafeteria doors to parts unknown. Allen stood, ready to pursue, but Lavi waved him down.

"For Yu, that's as good as a yes. Don't worry. He'll help us."

"Hm!" huffed Allen as he plopped down, muttering, "I don't know why he has to be so rude about it."

"That's just Yu for you… The question now is what exactly are we going to do? If we plan to turn her into a lady we'll need a lady to see if she meets the standards."

"But you know plenty about women, Lavi! Won't you be able to judge just fine? The only lady I can think of is Lenalee and I _really_ don't want to get her involv-"

"Lenalee! That's perfect! When we're done with the transformation we'll see if she measures up to Lenalee."

"But I-"

"Don't worry, Allen!"

"I don't think Lenalee would be too fond of the idea-"

"Then she never has to know!" Allen was not at all pleased with the turn things were taking. He recognized the look of excitement and enlightenment plastered across Lavi's visage all too well. There was no stopping the redhead now. "See, it's perfect! We'll get all the guys together to help give Miranda the confidence she needs to be a real first class lady and make use of all her assets, throw a big party to let her exercise her new talents, and see if Lenalee notices the progress. She'll be our unwitting judge so she won't get all stressed out about our meddling and everything will turn out fine! We can't pass up the chance! This could change Miranda's situation entirely," Lavi went on, attempting to coax some sign of agreement from the skeptical Allen. He leaned across the table and put a hand on the silver-haired exorcist's shoulder. "I mean, it could even help us out in the long run for her to have a little more spunk, like Yu said, a strong exorcist is a useful exorcist-"

"That's not what he said, he said the very opposite-"

"But is that what he meant, Allen?" Lavi's green gaze bored into Allen's gray one seriously. Then the line of his lips curved into one of his sparkling, infectious smiles and Allen couldn't help but relax and return the grin.

"I guess you're right, Lavi, and even if you're not… it's worth a try."

"That's the spirit, Allen!" Lavi gave the slim shoulder a hearty pat before standing up. "Now let's get out of here and find where Yu the mysterious ran off to and tell him the plan of action."

Allen stood too, grabbing his tray, but hesitated.

"Eh? What's wrong?" The older exorcist turned back to his straggling compatriot. Allen put a hand to his stomach and gazed yearningly at the food line before sprinting off while calling over his shoulder,

"I'll catch up with you and Kanda later, okay? All this talking has made me hungry!"

* * *

Please tell me about any thing that's unclear or any grammar, spelling, etc. mistakes now so I can nip the little evildoers in the bud!

A thousand thank yous for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

-S


	2. A Nice Nightgown

"Oh no, oh no, oh no!" Miranda sat on the edge of her bed, hugging her pillow in a vice grip and rocking slightly. "Vhat was I thinking? I startled everyone and I probably insulted Jerry and now people are going to talk about me, vhich is the last thing I vanted and it's all because I vas so stupid!" She gave a quaky sigh and fingered the now useless key that had once belonged to her beloved clock. "It's just alvays something, isn't it? I should have known things vouldn't change for me here…"

She happened to get a glance of her reflection in the slim mirror nestled between her closet and chest of drawers and immediately fell back, as if there was something monumental and startling about seeing oneself in a mirror, swallowing in an unconvincing attempt to ground herself.

She abandoned her pillow in favor of her recently removed uniform and busied herself by carefully hanging it back in her closet, studying it melancholically before sliding the door shut and casting the previously gleaming cross into a dull darkness. With that done she flopped down on her bed matter-of-factly, rolled to her back and lay still, saying with resignation tempered with determination, "It's no use trying to get anything done today. I'll serve the order best by just lying here and staying out of everyone's vay…"

* * *

"Che. I don't care what you do; I'm just here to see to it that you two don't screw up."

"Kanda, stop talking as though Krory's not here! You're being completely disrespectful and-"

"I'll show respect when it's been earned, moyashi," retorted Kanda before increasing his pace temporarily to escape the ever-chiding newbie (for in Kanda's mind, "newbie" is more often synonymous with "one who I dislike" than with the more widely accepted definition "one who is new to a job or place").

"Oi, Yu!" Lavi, who did not feel bothered to increase his own gait in order to remain in Kanda's company, shouted. "You know we're following you, right?"

"Of course." Kanda paused at the corner of the hall and circular corridor, "Her room's right next to mine."

"Ooh!" cooed the junior Bookman as they caught up, "So you can sneak over and get some action easy peasy, huh?"

"Shut up or Mugen is going to get some action up your-"

"Guys!" Allen pushed between the older boys diplomatically. "We won't be able to get anything done if we're always bickering!"

"Are you offering yourself as a substitute, moyashi? I'd be glad to let Mugen get a taste of you, but it's usagi I'm after."

"Kanda, stop-"

"Hee-hee! I wouldn't worry too much, Allen. It's not like he'll actually carry through."

"Oh, won't I?"

"And if he did,"

"Um… excuse me, but-"

"It's not like he could actually do anything to me."

"Um, Allen, we-"

"Lavi! Stop goading him! That's no help at all-"

"That's a dangerous assumption, baka!"

"Kanda!-"

"Lavi, we just passed-"

"Come on, Yu!"

"Lavi!-"

"We passed her room, you blundering fools!" The would-be brawlers turned to a sinister looking Krory, the white strand of hair that usually covered his right eye now lying atop his head as it did when his innocence activated. In concern to his innocence, it did not go unnoticed that his fangs looked particularly sharp and perhaps slightly larger than usual.

He turned sharply with a swish of his cloak, "I agreed to help a gentlewoman in need, not to babysit temperamental teenagers."

Needless to say, the three alleged temperamental teenagers were much more solemn as they retraced their steps to one of the many identical dark-stained wood doors that held behind it a rather depressed, if peaceful, Miranda.

Never one for patience or impractical standing about, Kanda reached for the door handle. Allen grabbed his wrist, glaring.

"If it's our mission to turn her into a proper lady it's imperative that we act as proper gentlemen. Knock."

Kanda yanked his hand away and snapped,

"Don't touch me with that hand, baka moyashi," but wisely complied, smartly rapping the door once.

Within, Miranda, who had reached a pleasant state of semi-meditation in which she could comfortably abuse herself in her thoughts in order to cement the idea that staying in bed all day was the best, if not only, thing to do, started at the sudden harsh noise.

"I'm indecent! Please v-"

"Oh, good!" To Allen's complete and utter horror, Lavi swung open the door and stepped in.

Miranda gasped but found her body incapable of doing anything beyond sitting up with an expression of mortification rivaled only by Allen's countenance which emanated similar sentiments in an identical degree of shock.

Kanda, unhesitating as usual, marched right in after Lavi with the rationalization that the damage had already been done and his presence would do little to improve or worsen the situation.

Lavi made himself comfortable at the corner of her bed and Kanda stood by somewhat awkwardly, gaze shifting around the room as Krory strolled in to take post on Lavi's other side having reached Kanda's same conclusion.

Miranda at last gained control of her lips but could not back up their rapid movements with sound.

Krory coughed quietly.

"That's a nice nightgown," offered Kanda, rather graciously, he thought. The comment brought the petrified Allen to life and the frozen Miranda back to her senses. She shrieked, squeezing her eyes shut and her comforter to her quite conservatively dressed but still quite exposed night gown-garbed body as Allen rushed forward and, in an equally high vocal register, attempted to simultaneously scold his fellow males (primarily Lavi) and apologize to their prospective rescued damsel in distress.

* * *

I'm one hundred percent sure that this has errors so please tell me...I'm editing in the wee hours of the night and do not trust myself. Blegh.

A thousand sleepy thank yous for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

-S

p.s. I am open to chapter title suggestions...thank you again.


	3. Advances

"So…" Miranda was playing with the corner of her blanket (which was wrapped securely around her like a hooded cape that left only her face framed by a few smushed curls visible), "you four vant to…" she gulped, scrunching up like a caterpillar.

"We want to give you some confidence, Miranda," said Lavi kindly, gently shoving her shoulder (or where he assumed it was) in a playful way. "Plus we want you to be able to land a hot guy, ya know? Cause you're one hot-"

"You're one of our _dearest_ friends!" Allen was kneeling next to Lavi and, luckily for the foursome, decided to commandeer the conversation. "We want you to be the happiest you can be and," Allen instinctively reached out to take her hands, a habit he had formed over years of giving consoling speeches to heartbroken dames who Cross had given the double L (laid and left), but faltered when he realized there was nothing to hold. Ever the improvisation master, Allen clapped, emphasizing his point, "And be able to prove that you're a wonderful, beautiful lady to everyone and yourself and-"

"And Lenalee."

"What?" The bright mood Allen had managed to create, not only for himself and Miranda, but the entire company, was shattered by Miranda's muttered addition to his pep talk. She tugged the blanket further over her face looking not only a little gloomy but downright macabre. Her eyes were little pinpoints of brightness in the cave of her blanket and all four of the men squirmed as they felt the minute spotlights passing over them.

"I have to meet Lenalee's standards."

Kanda bluntly answered, "Hai. Like it or leave it." The blanket-hood swiveled directly to Kanda who met it with an unemotional, even gaze. "Keep in mind that something like this could help you in many, maybe unexpected, ways."

Having said his piece, Kanda went into one of his defensive stances, swinging a hip out and his head down so that his bangs hid his eyes from a beaming Allen. To everyone's surprise Miranda flipped her makeshift hood off, looking remarkably grim and determined.

"I'll do it."

"Wha? Really?" It took one blink for Lavi to get over the shock that his plan had worked despite the combination of Kanda's temper, Krory's silence, Allen's gushiness, and his own flirtatious tendencies. The grin on his face put all the smiles of his eighteen years to shame. "Alright! Let's go!"

* * *

"Ahem. If I could have everyone's attention, please," Lavi rose to the balls of his feet, looking uncharacteristically business like. His tiny audience silenced immediately and all attention was on the serious-looking redhead. "To cut to the chase, this is going to be a crash course in ladylike confidence 101 so it's going to be intense, it's going to be hectic, it's going to make each and everyone of you want to give up at some point," he scanned his attentive audience to see if his motivational talk was having its desired effect, "but if we all stick together for Miranda," he firmly put a hand on both her shoulders, "I think we can pull it off. You still in?"

Miranda nodded somewhat shakily.

"For Miranda," a soft voice ventured.

Allen nodded at the weakly smiling Krory and then at Miranda and Lavi, "For Miranda!"

Everyone looked expectantly at Kanda. He was in Defense Position #2, small of the back resting on the wall, arms crossed, and leaned forward with one foot resting on the wall.

"Che."

"Kanda-"

"Eh. Allen." Lavi cut Allen's rather maternal sounding reprimand short and raised his eyebrow, willing him to remember what they'd discussed about the usually vast and significant difference between what Kanda said and what Kanda meant. Allen seemed to understand and turned his attention purposefully to Miranda and her hovering potential makeover artist (the term is used loosely here given Lavi's general lack of talent in anything artistic).

"Right, so where do we start?" Allen queried forcefully, clearly determined to change the course of the conversation.

"I'm glad you asked!" said Lavi grandly turning Miranda in her barstool to face the counter and taking a seat beside her. "If Miranda's going to be a _real_ lady she's probably going to get _really_ popular with the guys so," Allen and Krory were following Lavi's words closely, trying to guess where this was going. Miranda was beginning to feel a little sick, "it follows that we teach her how to deal with advances!"

"Woah, woah," Allen waved his hands, frowning, "what kind of advances?"

"Oh come on, Allen!" teased Lavi. "Nothing serious, of course! I have more decency than that but," he now addressed Miranda, "other guys won't so you'll have to be ready for the worst."

"But I-"

"Pardon me!" Jerry slid between the seated and standing members of the assembly with a steaming pot and then back to return with a sizzling frying pan (both of which successfully enraptured Allen and Krory).

"No, pardon us, Jer. And thanks for letting us use the kitchen. It's the closest thing to a bar I could think of."

"Hm-mm!" hummed Jerry in response as he switched on the burners of the stove he was relocating to so as to stay out of their way. For his part, he wanted to be uninvolved. Best to let kids be kids and hope Krory and Miranda, both into their twenties, would intervene if things got too crazy. He did, however, notice Miranda's increasing paleness and recalled her breakdown and, thus, decided, in the interest of her health, to brew some tea in case she needed comforting after being in the merciless hands of Lavi.

"Anyone want to go first?" Lavi's innocent offer was met with averted eyes and after a few beats of silence he turned to Miranda. "Guess you'll be fending me off first!"

She looked positively appalled.

"Hey, Yu! Stop sulking and get us two wine glasses with grape juice or something." Despite the rather impolite phrasing of the order, Kanda complied swiftly and silently. "Thanks!" Lavi put a half-filled glass in front of both of them before standing and turning away as if composing himself. He gave their victim only enough time to throw out a hand and cling to her glass as if it would keep her from falling off her stool if she panicked.

The Lavi that turned around was an entirely different animal than the one that had been speaking only moments before. With a seductive smirk he leaned on the counter, getting inches from Miranda's face and slurring, "Hey, baby…"

"AH!" Miranda squealed and attempted to scoot as far back as possible, nearly capsizing in the process.

"Miranda!" Krory was instantly behind her, holding her up from beneath her arms and Lavi had lunged forward to grab the front of her dress (she had changed before departing, into one of her old, well-worn garments upon Lavi's command). He sighed.

"Maybe we should give you an example first… Allen, take her seat. Miranda," Lavi raised a finger in an instructing way, "watch carefully."

"No way." Allen stood his ground, arms crossed, as Krory guided Miranda to the wall. "I'm not going to act as a girl."

"Then don't, moyashi. I doubt it matters to Lavi." Kanda scoffed.

Allen shifted his hands to his hips, "What a presumptuous thing to say!"

"No, he's right, Allen. For all intents and purposes it doesn't matter to me,"

"I still say no. There's got to be a better-"

"I'll do it then," Kanda sat promptly in Miranda's vacated seat, "coward." He took a sip of grape juice and looked, in quite a predator-like fashion, at Lavi who shrugged with a grin,

"If you really want to, Yu."

Allen bit back a heated response to Kanda's insult and decided to use it later if things didn't play out well.

"Ready?"

"Bring it, usagi."

"Heh." Lavi turned as before and repeated what he'd previously done to a tee. "Hey, baby…"

Kanda finished his sip, wiped his mouth, considered the glass, and then tossed its contents on Lavi with no hesitation.

"Pblt!"

"Back off, asshole," Kanda stood and joined Krory, Miranda, and Allen on the wall. "That's how it's done, Miranda." He went into Offensive Position #1 (identical to Defensive Position #2 except with his head leaned back against the wall to allow for maximum exposure of his countenance so that no one would be in the least bit confused as to his emotional state) and looked rather self-satisfied.

"Yu…" Lavi tried in vain to wipe his soaking face off on his sopping sleeves.

If one were to poll the entirety of his acquaintances, one would find that they would be in consensus in regard to the statement that Lavi was an agreeable, if not infectiously amiable, person 99 percent of the time.

This instance was one of those in the remaining 1 percent.

Miranda, recognizing that the chances of things getting quite ugly fast were much higher than the chances of a peaceful resolve being reached, very bravely chose to speak up,

"Lavi, I'm sorry, this vouldn't have happened if I'd done a better job the first time. Let's clean you up and I'll," she cringed slightly at the thought, "try again. Um…" she began looking about for a dish cloth.

"Here, Lavi." Allen jumped off the counter he'd stood on to get to the cloth cabinet. He was, of course, well acquainted with the kitchen.

With a great deal of grace, he seated himself in the stool Miranda was about to reclaim with a nod in her direction, "With your permission, Miranda."

"Please!"

"And your's, Lavi."

"Huh? Yeah, sure," he said rather distractedly as he used the rag Allen had tossed him to pad off the juice.

"Krory, could you refill my glass? Thanks." A very wry smile was playing across the fifteen-year old's lips. "Kanda's method isn't too bad, Miranda, but if you're a true master of men you do things a little differently."

Kanda glowered at Allen who, if he noticed, was completely unruffled.

"Watch closely," he laced his fingers and stretched, "I'm going to teach you how to play with your food." He batted his eyelashes and crossed his legs coquettishly. "Ready when you are, Lavi." It took a moment for the older boy to reply as he, and the rest of the entourage, was wholly disconcerted by Allen's behavior.

"Um, right…" As he'd done twice before, Lavi turned away and then came back with the same line, "hey, baby…"

Allen scooted ever so slightly away and busied himself with his drink.

Lavi took a seat. "Watcha drinkin'?"

"Hm!" chuckled Allen. "Something too strong for a little boy like you. What did you have to say to Mum to get out of the house so late? Or did you just wait for her to fall asleep?"

Lavi was a remarkably good sport considering how much Allen unsettled him. "No, I'm more creative than that. Which one of those did you do? I'm guessing the second one."

"Ha! I am the mum in my house, honey!" There was a collective gasp form Miranda and Krory at the implications of this and a derisive snort form Kanda at the way Allen pronounced 'honey'.

"Ah, so you're married."

"What makes you think that?" Allen smirked as he took a sip and scooted towards Lavi in the same manner he had retreated from him a while before.

"Oh, so you're that type of girl, huh?"

"What type of girl?" he said innocently.

"The type of girl who looks familiar… like-"

"You're next girlfriend?" Allen slid off the stool just as Lavi put his hand down on the rim to do God-knows-what, "I don't think so," and, without remorse, Allen tossed his drink on Lavi just as Kanda had.

"Pbft! Allen!" whined a distressed Lavi, searching for his used dishcloth.

The silver-haired boy was too concerned by Miranda's horrified expression to care about Lavi's comfort though.

"Don't worry, Miranda! None of that was true or anything! It was just an example! And I'm not really like that at all, of course! I just know things like this from watching women put down Cross." This seemed to relieve her shock but there seemed to be a much deeper trouble still bothering her (very probably a trouble more pronounced due to the fact that Kanda was and had been laughing hysterically ever since Lavi had received his second grape juice shower, out of genuine amusement or out of pure spite, it remains unknown).

"Lenalee… she has to deal vith men like that?" she pointed at Lavi as if he was a rather hideous animal in a zoo display. The redhead protested but was distracted by a whispered and apparently provocative remark from Kanda. Allen replied after thinking a bit,

"Oh, that's a good point. I suppose she doesn't since Komui keeps her out of the town all the time…" he sighed, oblivious to Kanda and Lavi's bickering. "I just think we started off wrong anyways and you won't even be needing this skill it seems… Hey, guys! Let's go! I think we should call it a day," he added to Miranda, "I'll try and get them to let me give it a shot next, okay?" He smiled kindly. "We'll do something more pleasant."

The crew filed out, Kanda and Lavi still bantering, Krory silent and grim, and Allen put out yet hopeful.

Miranda made to follow but was stopped by Jerry. He offered her a steaming mug and a seat.

"Tea?"


	4. Discovered

"Yu! Why didn't you tell us!"

"Because you never asked." Kanda kept an even, if forced, gait, responding bluntly as usual. Lavi, leading the other two accomplices sprinted a bit to catch up with the silent samurai. Kanda ignored Lavi's attempts to stop his progress to Komui's office and to grab his arm so they could talk face to face.

"Yu!" Lavi finally managed to bring Kanda to a halt by grabbing his ponytail. To no one's surprise, this did not sit well with the personal-bubble-rule-advocating eighteen year-old. "Oh calm down and put Mugen away already," Lavi said, moved by neither the death glare nor the halfway drawn weapon.

Kanda, after a second of self-debate, complied due to the fact that Lavi had yet to release his hair.

"What the hell do you want, Lavi? I was assigned a mission and I'll do the mission whether you like it or not."

"I just wish you'd told us while we were making the plans! Allen really wants you to be here for his part-"

"I do not!" piped Allen. His brows were furrowed in slight irritation, "I'm tired of you two putting words in my mouth!"

Ironically, both the older boys ignored this declaration.

"Well that's just too bad for him. After seeing your idea of how this project is going to play out yesterday, I can't say that I have any interest in seeing what moyashi has planned anyways. I'm sure I would find it embarrassing."

"That's not fair, Kanda! You're not even going to give me a chance-"

"I'm tired of watching you two make fools of us all, usagi." Kanda risked yanking his hair from Lavi's grasp and was not disappointed. "Che. I will promise to come back and fix the damage I'm sure Allen will inflict though."

"Well," Lavi seemed to be weighing this statement, "I can't be too upset about a promise like that, I mean, you just gave me your word that you'll _really_ help… Actually, I'm pretty impressed-"

"You are the outside of enough, Kanda!" snapped Allen hotly. He went a ways down the hallway to fume, unnoticed by all except a sympathetic looking Krory who made to follow him.

"Krory," said Kanda, shocking him thoroughly (he had been positive that the ill-tempered exorcist still did not know his name), "I'm counting on you to make sure they don't totally ruin her." He pressed open the door to Komui's office but then let it fall back. "And take care of that over-emotional idiot too. If he falls apart he'll be even more useless than he already is."

And with that, Kanda entered the office, leaving behind a shaken Krory and a thoughtful Lavi.

--

"Was that Lavi shouting out there?" Komui pushed up his glasses. Kanda had the strong suspicion that he had just woken up.

"Yes. Do you have the details on my assignment?"

"I wonder who he was yelling to… it wasn't you, was it?"

"It was. My assignment?"

"Well, that's rather interesting… You know, I find your spats with him to be quiet similar to the quarrels of married couples and I-"

"Kanda didn't come for idle chit-chat and you don't have time for it either, supervisor," chided section leader Reever as he walked in with a stack of papers and the little black assignment books handed out to exorcists before missions. He tossed the book to Kanda before turning to Komui's ever-crowded desk. "Tch!" Reever made a noise of disgust as he looked in vain for a place for his papers.

"Don't move that! I need my cup! I don't want more papers! No! Go away!"

"Hey, hey! Don't grab at me like that! The cup's empty anyways! What happened to the stack I brought you this morning, speaking of more papers."

"It's empty?" Komui stood to check the validity of this statement and then sat after confirming it, immediately shifting to a pleading expression. "Fill it up?"

"What? No way! And stop avoiding my question! Where are the papers?"

"Pleeeease?"

"I said no way!"

"Is this all I need to know?" Kanda stood and inserted himself in their continuous banter.

"Huh, yeah, yeah, that should be it."

"What? Oh yes." Komui straightened his beret and gave Kanda a thumbs up. "Good luck, Kanda! When should we be expecting you back?"

Kanda flipped through the book and tossed it on the couch in front of Komui's desk.

"I'll be back in one day." He made for the door to the background of their restarted argument, contemplating how ironic it was that Komui thought he and Lavi fought like a married couple. His reverie was interrupted by one of Komui's well-known attention-getting coughs. He turned back to see Komui leaning over his desk so that his eyes were visible over the top of his glasses.

"Perhaps when you return you'll have time to have some 'idle chit-chat' on the subject of this 'plan' you and Lavi were discussing, hm?"

Even Kanda could not help but cringe at the sinisterly sweet expression on the supervisor's face.

"Hai…" he managed before quickly turning and excusing himself from the office with a sinking sensation. While he, of all people, considered awareness and attentiveness to be some of Komui's better qualities, now was not the time for them to come into play. "Chisuko…"

This was not the way Kanda liked to start his missions.


	5. A Little Holy Intervention

"Miraaaanda!" Lavi knocked on her door (much to Allen's approval). There was no response. "Oh geez," whispered Lavi, bending over to see if anything could be seen through the keyhole, "you don't think she's avoiding us after what happened yesterday, do you?"

"Miranda?" Allen called through the seam where the door met the wall, knocking gently again, "At least answer if you're in there, please. We're sorry about yesterday if that's what's bothering you!"

"Not in the least, Allen. And that's no use, Lavi, for future reference… I taped black paper over the other side…" Both boys stood erect, shocked, and turned to face the source of the voice that had just spoken from behind them. Miranda pushed between them, removing her hat and producing a key. She very pointedly avoided eye contact, blushing slightly.

"Where ya been, Miranda?"

"Can we help you?" Allen attempted to take some of the many bags she was carrying but she jerked away quite violently, saying quickly,

"No, thank you, I've got it!" She made her way into her room, clutching her bags protectively, and then used her foot to shut the door after saying through the sliver of space between the door and frame, "I'll be vith you in just a moment…" leaving a very puzzled trio hovering awkwardly in front of her room.

"I guess she went shopping in town…" suggested Lavi, turning to lean against the door.

"I guess…" mused Allen, joining him in his state of repose, "but I wonder what she bought that she didn't want us to carry?"

"It could be anything," said Krory gloomily, taking a spot on the wall, "Women are always protective of their purchases, aru…"

* * *

"So the idea is that we'll take it easier today, set some basic ideas in place for you to work off of; does that sound good?" Allen gave one of his innocent and naively kind smiles that no one (except of course Kanda) was capable of saying no to.

Miranda nodded weakly, still resisting eye contact._ I can't believe they caught me earlier! I didn't think they'd be there so early…_

"Good!" Allen hooked his arm in hers, still beaming, "Let's pretend yesterday didn't happen and start over, okay?"

_I wonder if he knows… I wonder if he'll tell them… Oh, God, they'll be so upset if they find out!_ She cringed at the thought, a movement unnoticed by Allen but of interest to one of his more observant comrades.

"So where are we going exactly, Allen?" pressed Lavi.

"Oh! Um, it's right up here," he released Miranda and jogged up the stairs before them, indicating an open, balcony-like space.

Lavi saw this only out of the corner of his eye as he was focused on Miranda instead, making note of how she kept her attention fixed on Allen in a way that prey would watch it's predator. He tarried so as to keep pace with her while Krory sped up slightly, following Allen out onto the balcony.

"I never knew this was here Allen! What a lovely view…"

"I know!" their voices carried into the hall where Miranda and Lavi were making their way up the stairs, each wrapped in their own thoughts. " I found it on accident once when I was trying to get to Komui's office. Lenalee and I like to talk up here sometimes."

"Oh!… I _see_…" Krory said in a sort of embarrassed yet understanding and encouraging way.

"No, no, no! Not like that, Krory, we just…" Allen trailed off as their other two companions walked out onto the balcony, blinking around at their new surroundings. "Okay, stop!" They both immediately came to a halt. Allen walked over to the rather bemused pair with his most scrutinizing and serious expression, "One of the keys to feeling confident is to look confident," he smartly smacked Lavi in the small of the back, forcing him to stand up straight and inhale painfully.

"Ge!"

"And looking confident has a lot to do with poise," Miranda quickly stood up as straight as possible so as to avoid similar treatment, "posture," he yanked Lavi's arms down from their usual place, crossed behind his head, and then forced his shoulders back, "and potential!" as a final touch, he lifted Lavi's face so that he was looking straight ahead before turning to Miranda, fully prepared to repeat his rather insensitive limb rearrangement on her only to discover that she was already in his (apparently) desired stance. "Good!" he scanned them both, then stood between them, interrogating Krory, "Now, don't you think they look more business-like, Krory?"

"Yes…"

"More professional?"

"Yes…"

"What about commanding? Miranda, tell Krory to do something."

"Um…"

"No 'um's! If you um you have to walk ten steps on the balcony rail and that goes for all of us, got it?" There followed an immediate group nod and a petrified gulp in unison. "Lavi, you tell Krory to do something."

Lavi pointed authoritatively and shouted, "Drop and give me twenty, Krorykins!"

The rather gangly exorcist immediately fell into push-up stance and vainly attempted to perform the exercise, uttering wispy pants.

"That's the way!" approved Allen.

"Oh, stop it! Get up, Mister Krory, please!" Krory collapsed halfway through his second push-up in response to Miranda's plea, unsure of what to do next.

"Are you going to listen to a wimpy command like that, Count Krorykins? I said give me twenty!" Lavi was not going to make this easy for Miranda who, he could plainly see was feeling Krory's pain. To both he and Allen's surprise, Miranda, after looking rather hopelessly between the indifferent Lavi and struggling Krory, flushed, not her usual pink tinge from shyness, but a deep red of righteous indignation, and barked,

"If you're going to deal it out, you're going to have to take it! Give me _fifty_, Lavi!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Lavi saluted before dropping to hands and feet and taking to the task vigorously with short, regular huffs.

"There you go, Miranda!" Allen's voice broke the moment and the splotches of anger on her cheeks turned to embarrassment. "Don't you feel powerful?"

"Lavi, you don't have to-"

"An order's an order!" managed the redhead between push-ups.

"But… then, Mister Krory, you-"

"An order's an order!" he repeated, translucent skin glowing an eerie pink and smile twisted as he continued to work through his fourth raise.

"Miranda, don't worry!" insisted Allen, "They'll be fine. The point of this was to show that the way you hold yourself and the aura you emanate can totally change how people take you. And that _you_, Miranda, are capable of being respected and, in this case, obeyed."

Miranda pondered this for a moment and then, regaining the beet coloration ordered,

"Get up! Both of you!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Lavi leaped to attention, smirking, and Krory, looking very relieved, assumed a much preferred vertical position.

Allen applauded, "Very good! Now let's go get something to eat!"

* * *

"and two salads, with bacon bits if possible-"

"Remember, Miranda, order with confidence!"

"ten tuna sandwiches with tomato slices, and-"

"Jerry won't bite you, I promise."

"those little pastries that Kanda gets sometimes, as many as you can put in a bowl, please-"

"Keep up the good posture! If you look all caved in no one will take you seriously!"

"and the cranberry juice that Lavi got… with a small cup of water in case it's too bitter, if you don't mind, please."

"Is that all?"

"And don't forget to smile! And to say thank you! And-"

"Allen!" Lavi appeared at the shorter boy's shoulder, grabbing his elbow and whispering something that Miranda couldn't pick out. Allen glanced at the door several times during the whispered message and nodded vigorously at the end.

"Alright, Miranda!"

"Yes… I think, that's all, aru…"

"Coming right up!"

Allen gave his most self-confidence bolstering smile and patted her shoulder. "Good luck! It's all up to you now! Show Jerry what you've learned!"

Miranda returned the smile weakly as Allen hurried off to join the already eating Lavi at a table along the far wall. She gave a stabilizing sigh._ Alright… poise, posture, potential… I can do this. I __have__ to do this… for me and the guys and-_

"Hi, Miranda!" Any composure the brunette had managed to contain was instantly released and running far, far away from her.

"Oh, ah, Lenalee! Hello… vhat a surprise…" _That was stupid! It's lunchtime, of course she's here, it's no surprise at all_-

"Haha! I'm actually surprised to see you here! I don't normally see you in here at meal times… Do you eat in your room?"

"Um…" _No! No ums!_ "I, yes, I… sometimes…" Miranda observed herself falling apart with some interest. At times like this she reached a meditative existence outside her being and, as the inevitable breakdown was unstoppable, could guiltlessly analyze and study herself as she fell to pieces in front of the completely un-intimidating sixteen-year-old.

"Sometimes? Where else do you eat?"

"Vell, sometimes I just don't."

"What? Miranda!" Lenalee put her hands on her hips and chided, "You can't continue that! That's unhealthy and there's no reason you shouldn't eat! If you need help, I'd be glad to-"

"Next!"

"Oh!" Lenalee stopped mid-lecture, focus turning to the departing, tray-laden Krory, "Looks like you're up, Miranda!" Miranda merely stood, frozen to her spot. "Come on, Miranda, what are you waiting for?" Lenalee gently pushed her unresponsive peer forward, eliminating any remaining chances for escape.

Suddenly stranded, Miranda cast about for some support. Allen and Lavi quickly looked away, showing all the signs of having just been intently staring at her, Krory was still making his way to their table, taking his time in order to maintain his balance, Lenalee was looking about, smiling distantly with content patience, and with no source of comfort to be found on her right side, the only place left to look was to Jerry, peering expectantly out at her.

"Hem…" she coughed quietly, stepping forward and leaning in confidentially. "Hello…"

"Good afternoon, Miss Miranda, you ready to order?"

She glanced sideways to see Krory, Allen, and Lavi indiscreetly studying her every movement (this did nothing for her confidence) before turning back to Jerry and muttering, "… Yes…"

"I'm ready when you are!" offered Jerry cautiously, making a supreme effort to look approachable.

"I vould like…" Miranda gripped the counter. Her mind had gone blank. "Hem!" she coughed again, stood up straight and improvised, "something different." She relaxed for the moment. At least she'd said _something_ and _something_ meant she had a little more time to think of _something_ else: a vicious downward spiral but better than a repeat of yesterday's breakfast fiasco.

"Oh! May I make a suggestion?" Lenalee appeared at her side, bracing herself against the counter as well. "Have you ever tried Jerry's special stir fry? My brother taught him how to make it when they met in China. It's wonderful! Right, Jerry?"

"Through none of my doing, yes, Miss Lenalee."

"Oh hush, Jerry! You know it's only good because you are! No need for modesty!"

Jerry chuckled, "I'll let you believe what you want, Miss Lenalee… two orders then?" Lenalee and Jerry looked at Miranda.

Miranda looked back, trying to figure out what had just happened. A little voice (that sounded quite a lot like Allen's oddly enough) inside her head whispered_ She saved you, Miranda! Just say yes! Say yes, Miranda! Just say yes!_

Her lips parted but, to her horror, a noise would not come out. Then, as she drowned in mortification, realizing that for all of everyone's efforts, she was going to fail, a sudden warmth on her hand snapped her into awareness and she said on an inhale, like a swimmer who had just surfaced, "Yes, please!" and then, remembering Allen's last minute advice, "Thank you!"

She looked down to the counter to see what had saved her. Lenalee's small, white hand blanketed her own and as she watched, gently guided it from the counter to their sides. _She…_ Lenalee squeezed her hand and beamed, swinging their hands slightly in a sisterly way. The knots of anxiety began to loosen in Miranda's gut and, for the first time in a long time, she felt genuinely relaxed.

"Hmm!" In spite of herself, she giggled and smiled back. _She's…_

"Would you like to eat with me or are you going up to your room?"

"Here you are, ladies! Enjoy!" Jerry slid a tray across the counter.

"Thanks, Jerry!" Lenalee made to take the tray but Miranda beat her to it.

"Lead the vay."

"Oh! Thanks, Miranda! I'll enjoy some company!" Miranda obediently followed, for once at peace with herself because she had achieved something and not because she was having to comfort herself after screwing something up again.

… _an angel_.


	6. The Losing Side of Life

"Mmm…mm!" A groggy Lavi, woken suddenly by the lack of blanketing, curled into a ball and instinctively protested, "Five more minutes, panda!"

"I'm not Bookman, _baka_!"

"Yu?!" Lavi weakly sat up, rubbing his one visible eye and swiping fiery bangs out of his already blurry vision. "What're you doing here?"

Kanda (somehow, needless to say the interpretation was beyond Lavi) took this as an invitation to sit. He did not relinquish the blanket.

"I'm back from my mission."

"Yeah, I can see that… Welcome home," Lavi made to resume his ball position but a firm grasp on the back of his nightshirt halted the movement.

"Get back here, Usagi. I'm not done with you."

"Well I'm done with you-"

"Shut up and listen," commanded the swordsman rather placidly. As per usual in he and Lavi's interactions, one became increasingly calm as the other became increasingly irritated.

"It's like four in the morning or something, Yu, I can't-"

"It's three, now pay attention."

"Can I-"

"No," Kanda gathered the blanket in his arms, "you can't have your blanket back until you've listened."

Lavi sighed and sat up fully, crossing his legs. No talk, no blanket. No blanket, no sleep. He was always on the losing side of life.

"K, so what's up?"

"I can't turn in my mission report."

"Why not?" Lavi bit back a myriad of alternative smart responses (at least their presence indicated that he was now fully awake). Snide remarks would not help him get the blanket and a good night's sleep back, no matter how amusing he found them.

"Komui's on to the plan I think…" Kanda's dark eyes lifted from Lavi's in a moment of self-doubt before refocusing. "He said he would talk to me when I got back, so I can't go."

"Well send someone else then."

"No," Kanda shook his head, "he'll know I'm avoiding him then and seek me out."

"Not if we send someone who has a mission today. He knows full well how pissy you get after missions so he would probably just assume that you were storming to his office and instead of dealing with him decided to throw the job of returning your report onto the first person you found who would _logically _be…" Lavi trailed off as he watched Kanda, for a sign of comprehension. After a few moments of observing his peer glare at the bed contemplatively (during this time the feeling of ache at the loss of his blanket became steadily more acute due to the sight of Kanda resting his chin in it's particularly warm-looking folds) Kanda sat up straight and threw his legs over the bed.

"Got it. So all I have to do now is figure out who's going out today. If I'm careful I can probably sneak into his office right now and check the schedule…" Kanda made for the door, musing mostly to himself, "Of course, they could be pulling an all-nighter which makes things a bit more difficult… I may have to put a few people out…"

"Yu!" Lavi's resentful wail brought him to a halt at the door.

"What?" he snapped, keen to be on his way.

Lavi stared at him. A few beats of silence followed before Kanda understood.

"Che! So needy!" He crossed the literature-littered floor and swung the blanket out over Lavi's bed, letting it drift down gently before Lavi could react, having been expecting him to throw the blanket at him. "Che! Lay down, dumbass!" Kanda roughly yanked the blanket off with no concern for the amount of pain Lavi might suffer.

"Ow! Geez, Yu!" Lavi scrambled to lay down, gingerly feeling his mistreated neck.

"Lay flat, baka!" Lavi did his best to comply as the blanket floated down a second time.

"Thanks, Yu," yawned the redhead. But Kanda wasn't finished. He carefully tucked the well-used comforter around Lavi and then, in a touching but extremely frightening uncharacteristic display of emotion, gently ran thin fingers through his comrade's thick, red hair, whispering,

"Arigato, Usagi."

* * *

"So sorry!"

"What the hell are you- Krory?"

"Mister Kanda!! My sincerest apologies! It's entirely my fault! I wasn't watching-"

"Shut up. I don't want them to hear us."

"Them whom, begging your pardon?"

"Them."

"Oh… Komui?"

"Hm… What the hell are you doing up here?"

"Me?"

"Who do you think-"

"Oh, yes, yes, but of course! Stupid question! Haha! Um… I'm up here to… well what are _you_ up here for?"

"_Excuse me_?"

"Ah! Um, I beg your pardon, but I have to inquire because, um, well…"

"Get to the point before I-"

"You see, I too neglected to tell Lavi that I had… prior engagements…"

"So you have a mission?"

"Yes…"

"Here. This is my mission report. Turn it in for me and if anyone asks say that you were persuaded to do me the favor by Mugen's point, got it?"

"Well, of course, I'd be more than happy-"

"Good."… "Hey, Krory…"

"Hm?"

"Did you make sure everything went okay yesterday?"

…

"Allen's fine, if that's what you're trying to ask."

"I am _not_ worried about that stupid-"

"He did a brilliant job with Miranda too. You will be able to tell the difference for sure, aru."

"No, I'm not done talking about the first thing! You need to understand that moyashi means _nothing_ to me before you-"

"Ssh! They musn't hear us."

"Why you-!… Che!"


	7. Debut

"_Dancing_?"

"You heard me."

"_Dancing_?!"

"Do you think I'm lying? If we're going to have a party for her it will have to be a party fit for a lady. Classy, not casual like the stupid welcoming parties. And people have to dance at classy parties, of course, so if it's a party for her and considering that there are only a few women anyways, everyone and their pet usagi will want to dance with her, so wipe that stupid 'I don't believe you' look off your face, moyahsi."

* * *

"G'morning, Miranda! You look lovely today."

"Oh! Good morning, Lavi! You surprised me…"

"Hee! Sorry ! I didn't mean to… may I walk you to our meeting place for today's work?"

"Of course… Thank you."

"The pleasure's mine!"

* * *

"No, no, I get that, in fact, it's the perfect concept to follow up what we did yesterday, but _you_? _Dancing_?"

"Baka! You think I can't dance?!"

"Well… yeah. I do. You've done nothing in the course of our acquaintance to make me think otherwise."

* * *

"Mm… It's a nice day, isn't it?"

"Yes…"

"Mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"No…"

* * *

"I'll have you know, _Aren_, that Cross isn't the only one who carts his pupils across the globe. My gensui didn't sit on his ass at headquarters the whole time he was training me, we went _every_where and when you go _every_where you pick up a few things, okay?"

* * *

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

* * *

"It's '_Allen_'. With a 'le'. Ah, len."

* * *

"No… not to speak of… Boys vere never very interested in me…"

* * *

"I…" Kanda flushed and went into Defensive Position #3, turning his head to the side and glaring at the floor, "That's what I said…"

* * *

"And I've never really been interested in men, to be honest… They've always been harsh and loud, especially at some of the places I vorked in the service industry. I vas alvays glad to be on the other side of the counter and not on the stool next to them."

* * *

"No, you said 'Aren', with a 're'. It's 'le'. 'Allen',"

"I know that!"

"Then why don't you say it right?" Allen waited, hands on hips, for a response. When none came he continued, "I find it quite rude that you're deliberately mispronouncing my name!"

"You don't understand… you're just getting angry without thinking. And you're deviating from our conversation's focus anyways. Do you still have a problem with me teaching her how to dance?"

* * *

"Oh… I see…"

"But I don't think all men are bad! No one had treated me as kindly as Allen did vhen ve first met for years and you're a very sveet person, even if your teasing makes me nervous sometimes, … oh! And Kanda, he's quite frightening and very mysterious but I can tell he has his heart in the right place and he can be almost kind from time to time, can't he? And Krory. He knows how to treat a voman very vell. He's quite a gentleman."

* * *

"You always get angry without thinking! And we need to sort this out now before we try to talk about anything else and-"

"It's not one of my sounds."

"What?"

* * *

"You're all very good friends, Lavi."

"I'm glad you feel that way."

* * *

"The right Aren sound. We don't have that in Japanese."

"You mean 'le'?"

"Hai… Or any of the others like it. We have 're' and 'ra' and 'ri' and 'ro' and 'ru'. But not the ones like the right Aren sound. I worked very hard to get the ones I know now but sometimes… I still mess up. Especially when it's a word I don't use a lot."

"Oh, Kanda… I'm-"

"Happy? Now you know, okay?"

"Kanda, I'm _so_ sorry, I…"

"I don't care if you're sorry, moyashi."

"Is that why you call me 'moyashi'?"

"What?"

"So you don't have to say 'Allen'?"

"No!"

"And why you call Lavi 'usagi'?"

"No!"

"It must be!"

"Che!"

"Kanda!" Allen hesitated on the brink of frustration. He sighed, then looked up at Kanda (who was still facing away true to Defensive Position #3) with his most mature apologetic expression. "Kanda, I'm very sorry. You're right about me getting angry without thinking even though you do do it all the time; that doesn't make it right. I promise I won't talk about this to anyone else or bother you about it at all. There's a lot I don't know about you and… I've just been making assumptions. I'm sorry," he bowed slightly, hoping his apology was being taken seriously even if it wasn't being accepted, "I guess I should follow my own advice and not be rude."

* * *

"Miranda…" Lavi slowed considerably and she stopped to turn back to him, "can I ask you something else?"

* * *

"… Che," Kanda shifted to Defensive Position #2, "whatever. You talk too much." He lifted his steely gaze just enough to make eye contact with the still inclined fifteen year-old. "So are you going to stop acting like I can't teach someone how to dance or not?"

Allen smiled. Perhaps if he could keep his temper from now on he could begin to understand Kanda a little better.

"I won't complain but that doesn't mean I'm not skeptical. You'll just have to prove it to me."

"Che! As if there's anything to prove!"

* * *

"I guess so- Ah! Lavi, vhat are you doing?"

"Calm down, I'm just asking a question like I said I would." Miranda's chest constricted painfully as she inhaled sharply. Lavi held her wrists firmly as he pressed her to the wall, gently but forcefully. He leaned over, locking his steady gaze with her frightened one.

* * *

"We'll just have to see when Miranda gets here… Speaking of which, shouldn't she and Lavi be here by now? Her room's not that far…"

"Hm. Wait here. I'll go find them… troublesome usagi. He always messes around at the most inopportune moments."

* * *

"Miranda… what was in those bags the other day?"

"Vhat are you-"

"The one's Allen tried to help carry. You were watching him yesterday like you thought he was going to rat you out. What is it?"

"Vhy do you have to hold me like this to ask me that?"

"Because I don't want you to run away."

"I'm finished vith running avay… There's novhere left to go…"

"What are you trying to hide, Miranda?"

"It's not your business, Lavi. There are no reasons for you to know-"

"Yes, there are. We're your friends, Miranda. You shouldn't have to hide things from us."

"I'm a grown voman, Lavi, you must trust that I can take care of myself-"

"But you can't, Miranda! Why the hell do you think we're doing all this? We've all been watching you beat yourself up to the point that you can't even order food for yourself in the god-damned cafeteria and you call that taking care of yourself?"

"Lavi, don't yell, please, stop yelling-"

"I'll yell all day if that's what it takes for you to understand, Miranda! What are you doing to yourself? Why won't you tell me, or any of us, tell Krory for all I care, but you can't keep hiding whatever this is from us?"

"You're hurting me!" The shrill report of Miranda's shriek snapped something in Lavi and he looked down at her as though he'd just noticed she was there.

"Miranda…" he released her hands, fingers sliding down her elbows and then leading his arms around her waist, lifting her slightly so that he could bury his face in the thick brown waves that caressed her tense shoulder. "I'm sorry, Miranda… I didn't mean to-"

"Oi! Usagi! What are you-oh…" Kanda's countenance was, for one of a very few and very brief moments in his eighteen years, consumed with shock but he very quickly composed himself to a neutral expression and said gruffly. "There you are. Let's go. We don't have all day," before taking off from the direction he'd come without even a backwards glance to see if he was being followed.

* * *

"Oh! You guys are- what's wrong, Kanda?"

Kanda jerked his head to the side in what could have been a halfway completed headshake and left a confused Allen hovering at the door trying to guess the surely complex meaning of an irritated sounding, "Che!". There was no answer to be found in the grim looking Lavi that followed the swordsman, studying the ground intently, nor in the shaken and (much to Allen's further confusion) slightly teary-eyed Miranda who straggled in last.

Despite his good start with Kanda, Allen felt that the day was swiftly going down hill and, so, nobly attempted to cheer the grumpy, gloomy, and grieved assembly,

"Good morning you two! Kanda has something exciting planned for today, right Kanda?"

"Che…" Kanda said softly. He walked away form the doorway that led to the top of the Headquarters building, across the expanse of the roof to the proud stone points and curves that made for an elaborate railing. Allen looked from his small dark silhouette against the off-white clouds to the still unapproachable looking Miranda and Lavi, unsure of how to save the situation.

He jumped at the sound of Kanda's cold, clear voice, carrying from across the roof,

"Moyashi! Come here," he was walking back stiffly. Allen hesitated before darting out to meet him in the center,

"Kanda, what happened?"

"Miranda," Kanda smoothly ignored Allen's whispered query, "You've seen ballroom dancing before, right?" She looked up and gave one quick nod, keeping her face down but her eyes up. "Have you ever done it before?"

"Once or twice…" she called, coming forward a bit, "A long time ago. I vasn't very good."

"That's good," Kanda seized Allen's left arm at the elbow, "at least you won't be starting from scratch."

"Kanda, what are you-" Allen's protest was sucked back in with a quick gasp as he found himself arranged into the traditional ballroom stance. He looked up at Kanda. Kanda stared back with an almost tangible intensity but a completely unreadable expression.

He swallowed.

For the first time in he and Allen's relationship he asked and didn't order,

"Can I lead you?"

"What?"

Kanda's eyes widened.

"Oh, oh! Um, why yes! Certainly!"

The typically narrowed eyes returned to their normal angled state. Kanda took a deep breath, working hard to avoid eye contact with Allen who was doing the same (both were reluctant to see their reflections because neither was prepared to come to terms with the fact that he was blushing) and instructed,

"Watch… _Allen_, Miranda," the mentioned dance partner subconsciously squeezed Kanda's shoulder at the sound of his name, "and just shout when you're ready to give it a try, got it?"

"O-okay…"

Kanda stepped to the right, trying to relax. Allen's foot followed with much more speed and grace than he'd expected. They moved slowly, making a rotation with every four steps and orbiting the center point in their series of rotations like a lonely planet circling an invisible sun, a feeling that was not too hard to imagine in the isolation and elevation of their dance floor.

Kanda's attempts to calm himself were in vain, in fact, they had the opposite effect. He could feel Allen's lax grip on his shoulder and, in his hand but the ever observant exorcist was not deceived. His hand on the shorter boy's waist felt swift and shallow expansions and deflations that indicated accelerated breathing. They were both tense.

_What the hell is wrong with me? It's just dumbass moyashi… He's never made me nervous before…_

He lifted his eyes from their feet to the sky but found his gaze caught by the open gray eyes opposite him.

_Damn you, moyashi! Why are you looking at me?_

Unable to rip his eyes away, Kanda decided to study his nemesis's face under the guise of staring him down.

_Why are we so nervous, moyashi? You look so confused…_

After a few turns of looking questioningly up at Kanda's glare, Allen could take it no longer and glared back. Though neither was concentrating on the dancing, their muscle memory was quite the impressive display of ballroom movement.

_What are you trying to prove to me? Or are you? Is it me? Am I trying to prove myself to- no way!_

Kanda's grip tightened.

_I don't think anything of you and I definitely don't give a damn what you think of me, moyashi. That can't be it-_

"What was that, Miranda? Did you say you're ready?" The sound of Lavi's voice shattered Kanda's thoughts (and, to be sure, Allen's, for it is certain that his mind wasn't blank all this time) and he released the silver-haired youth's waist just as the hand on his shoulder slid off. Miranda stared in horror at Lavi (she had said no such thing and was wholly unprepared) but he pointedly chose to look away, staring at Kanda and Allen thoughtfully.

"Well, come on then." Kanda jerked his head indicating for Miranda to join him.

With a last un-returned glance at the Bookman-in-training to see if he had any explanation for volunteering her, Miranda ventured out onto the makeshift dance floor. Kanda looked down at Allen to order him away and realized their previously clasped hands were still entwined.

"Che!" he yanked his pale fingers from the red, textured grasp, startling Allen considerably, "How many times do I have to tell you not to touch me with that?" As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he'd slipped up. It had been _he_, Kanda, who had taken the hand in the first place this time.

Allen looked up at him heatedly and Kanda waited to be told his mistake but instead was answered with a swift turn and the sound of deliberate steps back towards Lavi. Miranda (who had been floating on the skirts of their one-sided argument) came forward tentatively to face her second most feared peer in the Black Order.

"Okay, Miranda, you put your hands-oh. Yes. Good. I see you were watching," Kanda carefully placed his hand just above the curve of her hip.

Across the rooftop Allen came to a stop and thrust himself against the other side of the door that led to a spiraling staircase and the Order's top floor, crossing his arms with a furious huff.

"Looked like you were having fun out there, Allen, "Lavi smiled but the grin lacked his usual brightness.

"I hate that arrogant, insensitive deceitful bastard! He's worse than Cross!"

"Now you move your left foot back- stay on the balls of your feet, now down- that's the way…" Miranda and Kanda were moving slowly but surely in the same path Allen and Kanda had just circled to the shockingly gentle tones of Kanda's instruction. By their third orbit, Kanda had fallen quiet and they moved smoothly and cohesively. Miranda squeezed her eyes shut and mouthed steps for a while as Kanda watched in interest.

Allen's vexation simmered away and Lavi's focus on remaining distant dissipated as both were sucked into the scene before them.

"Lavi…"

"Yeah. I know."

Kanda was surprised to notice that the words her lips were forming no longer resembled English and wondered how long ago she'd stopped murmuring the steps. Her heavy-lidded eyes were no longer scrunched shut but rather lightly closed and a very faint but steady tune joined the foreign sounds. She was singing.

"She's so…"

"Mm. Watch closely, Allen. You'll want to remember the first time you saw Miranda Lotto."

"That's a nice song," stated Kanda when the last note had been whisked away by the slight but every present breeze scraping over the rooftop. Miranda just smiled. "I think you've got the dance down…"

"Yes. I remember it now. Thank you, Mister Kand-"

"Kanda. Just Kanda. I've never liked European honorifics."

"I see… How does it end?"

"Hm?"

"The dance. I don't recall how it ends…" Kanda slowed bringing the last rotation to an end in the center and broke their hold save for their joined hands, spinning her in a single circle. Then, without warning, he brought her into a low dip and pressed his lips to hers with no hesitation.

"Kanda!"

"KANDA!"

The shouts of their fellow exorcists were lost on the pair. Kanda felt her heart pounding against his chest evenly in contrast to the random thuds of two pairs of boots that would soon bring the (doubtless) furious Allen and Lavi upon them. He slid a hand to the curve of her neck and shoulder and pinched precisely and quickly, feeling her eyes flutter closed against his temples before letting her drop the short distance to the ground and turning to face his companions.

Lavi grabbed his shoulders, "What the hell was that, Yu?!" and Allen dropped to his knees beside Miranda's elegantly splayed form, lifting her head to his lap and steadily issuing a stream of venomous demands, "

"What did you do to her? What were you thinking? How dare you act so impulsively!? That's completely out of line!"

But Kanda was focused entirely on the rage-contorted features inches from his face.

"What the hell was that?!" he repeated, shaking the unmoved and austere as ever swordsman.

"I could ask the same," responded Kanda evenly. He watched the effect this had on his junior of two months. Lavi snarled,

"Why you- You had no idea what was going on then! It's nothing like that-"

"And isn't this all about preparing her for the worst? Do you know how afraid of me she is? If she could take that she can take anything."

"SHE'S A PERSON, YU! STOP TREATING HER LIKE A MACHINE THAT NEEDS PROGRAMMING OR A PET YOU'RE TRAINING! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT SHE'S A HUMAN?"

"Baka!" Kanda spat, lunging against the firm grasp on his shoulders, "I know that better than anyone! It's you that doesn't get it!"

"That doesn't give you the right to do that!" Lavi glared, voice lowering and speech bracketed with pants. "That doesn't give you the right to take her first kiss, Yu…"

Kanda blinked.

"Lavi, what are you talking about? She's in her twenties; surely that wasn't her first-"

Kanda smacked Lavi's hands down, the sound silencing Allen, and stepped back. He looked from the unconscious woman to his heavily breathing comrade.

"Really… That's good," he made for the door. "Better me than you."


	8. Hitting Home

I'm sure this one is chock full of spelling and editing errors so go wild on it, k guys? Also, as a public service announcement to those of you who enjoy listening to music while you read, I highly recommend some of the tracks from the d gray man OST (original soundtrack)...they can be found on youtube (someone has all of the tracks up) and I had great fun listening to "Arystar Krory" over and over again with the occasional "Eliade's Love" or "Bookman" while editing. :)

Hope you all enjoy! (I love you all dearly for hanging with me...I only have three more chapters left to write! :O)

* * *

"Good afternoon, everybody! Aru…" Krory slid into Miranda's bedroom, receiving a considerably cold response to his warm greeting.

The upturned corners of his mouth fell instantly.

He looked first to Kanda (who was displaying a fine sample of Defensive Position #1) and then panned across the room to Lavi (who was propped against the window sill, exuding moodiness), then to Miranda's bed on the wall opposite Kanda where Allen sat (guarding Miranda with all of his 160 centimeters of height and too small to be mentioned girth). Miranda herself was studying the floor somewhat spacily, finger raised curiously to her lip.

No number or manner of words could have better captured the all too evident fact that catastrophe had struck in Krory's absence.

"Miranda, if you'll, excuse us for a moment," she nodded distractedly and stood to leave but Krory's voice and Allen's hands brought her back down, "No! We'll be leaving, you stay. This _is_ your room we're so graciously being allowed to intrude upon."

Allen, after settling Miranda back down, rose and joined Krory at the door. The other two adolescents moved much more slowly and stiffly but came all the same.

"I'm sure Kanda can be at least half the host you are and open his room to us for this brief discussion."

Kanda gave a very empty, "Hai," as if he actually had any say in the matter, as he exited. Krory watched to make sure all three made it to Kanda's room before bowing low to Miranda and saying, "We'll return in a moment."

A few quick strides down the hall brought him to one of the most avidly avoided places in the Black Order and his, for all purposes, prey. As soon as the door shut behind him, Allen exploded,

"Krory! It was positively _awful_ yesterday! I wish you'd been there yesterday, Krory, if you'd been here Kanda wouldn't have-"

"Che. Do you honestly believe that, moyashi?"

"Shut the hell up, Yu-"

"Quiet!" the usually subdued Krory snapped and his comrades (all three of which closely resembled children who, having been recently apprehended doing some or another crime, were about to receive, at best, a stout spanking) immediately complied to his command. "Allen! You tell."

"She doesn't remember, Krory! We went upstairs to do Kanda's lesson, or what have you, and, and-" he looked sideways at Kanda very quickly and nervously, wondering how much he should say, "things were going so well and, oh, but, Krory, something happened, something _awful_ must have happened when Kanda went to go find Lavi and Miranda because when he brought them back everyone was just beyond upset and no one would give me the bloody story- hell, they probably wouldn't even give me the bloody time of day- and so then there we all were- gloomy every blooming one of them- and Kanda danced with me to set an example for Miranda so then she gave it a shot and she, oh, Krory, she was doing simply _brilliant_- I wish you'd seen her- but then at the end, Krory, at the end…" Allen finally paused for breath and then looked up gravely, "Kanda kissed her. And then knocked her out and so now she hasn't the faintest idea of what happened from right before the kiss to when she woke up yesterday evening."

"I see… Well," Krory turned grandly and opened the door, "I best go set things right…"

"That's it? You're just going to go on like Yu didn't do anything?"

"I did nothing wrong, baka!"

"QUIET! For the last time!" Krory let the door slam and swirled around to the explosive pair. "How many times must I ask you to shut up? Stop acting like children! Your behavior is deplorable and a gross discredit to your characters! Punishing someone for something that is not a crime wil get us nowhere nor will making an earthquake out of shaking floorboards! Lavi, you've doubtless been needed by Bookman all this time. Go. And, Kanda, I'm sure you've a million things you'd rather be doing, tend to them by all means and take Allen with you-"

"Che! Why do I have to-"

"at least until you apologize. Don't look so surprised! I know something's gone awry even if Allen didn't say it." Krory opened the door for a second time and stepped out, remarking severely, "I'm not blind."

* * *

"Mister Krory, you're too kind… You really mustn't take my tab, I-"

"No, no. You really mustn't continue to bring such a dull subject up for conversation, Madam. Even something as dreary and cliché as the weather would give me more to work with than the mute point of my paying the tab; I _am_ paying the tab, though I thank you for your gracious concern." Krory glanced briskly to the left and right before striding across the street, Miranda in tow, to a small corner café.

In Krory's experience, the best way to remedy disaster was escape and the best escape to offer a woman was a spa. However, since the latter was obviously not feasible in concern to time or money and he did not feel comfortable with replicating one on his own, lunch out was the clear fallback.

Unfortunately, Krory had not planned past their arrival and wouldn't be surprised in the least if the date fell apart within five minutes. But, because turning back was not an option, he put on his internal brave face and prepared to at least see them through drinks. Who knew? Perhaps they would surprise themselves and open up to each other. A part of him had always hungered for her company since the day they'd met and he'd discovered how close they were in age. Also, he always had their mutual lack of knowledge in concern to each other's history as fodder for conversation and if that dried up, as he'd said before, the weather. With these last few comforting thoughts, Krory ushered Miranda into the glass front doors and followed, sealing his fate for an either pleasurable or prickly afternoon.

* * *

"Number of guests?"

"Um, two… just two."

"And will you be taking lunch on the front patio or inside?"

"Ah." Krory turned to Miranda (who was rather innocently taking in her surroundings and appreciating the fact that she wasn't having to talk) expectantly. She looked up, appalled. The man behind the desk joined the game of stare exchanges, eying them both down in lieu of a response. "Hem!" Krory coughed to fill the silence and turned back to the counter.

He was used to dealing with much more opinionated females.

"We'll eat outside thank you…"

"Alright… right this way please."

* * *

"Psst! Jiji… Jiiiijiiii… JIJI!" Lavi closed his eyes in preparation for the thwack he was sure was coming but after several beats of (a much less painful) nothing, the junior bookman tentatively returned the sense of sight to himself and stood with a short sigh, "Ah. Well, Jiji… guess what they say is true…"

"Snooze you lose?"

"OW!"

"I should say so."

"Jiji!" Lavi rubbed his behind gingerly where it had not-so-gently come into contact with one of a million hardback books littering their bedroom floor. "What's your problem?"

A puff of smoke in his face was followed shortly by the response to his rhetorical question, "That I have a good-for-nothing, womanizing, procrastinating apprentice for starters…"

* * *

"So, Miranda… You're from Germany, correct?"

"Yes…"

"Was it nice there?"

Miranda was poking her fingers thoughtfully through the diamond shaped holes on the café table.

"As nice as anyvhere I suppose… Ve have our good times and ve have our bad."

"Do you miss it? Your home, I mean?"

"I…" she paused in her finger proddings and, for the first time in the mostly one-sided conversation, looked up at Krory melancholically. "That's a difficult question, Mister Krory. Do you miss your home?"

"No!" A very passionate expression took over his features and he put a fist to the table firmly. "A day has not passed in which even the slightest trace of regret crossed my mind."

"That's vhat I thought I'd say too, but" she played with a loose tress of hair, "I don't know, Mister Krory…" she looked up again, brow furrowed, "I think sometimes I miss it a lot. So much that maybe I don't realize that vhat I'm feeling is an urge to go home, if that makes any sense. Vhen I left I know how happy I vas to be leaving one place and going to another but I didn't really know vhat I vas leaving just as much as I didn't know vhere I vas going. I'd like to visit again one day, I think. So I could know vhere I…" the slow thoughtful stroking changed to frenzied finger-combing. "Vell, I'm rambling nonsense now, aren't I?" She gave a soft sort of laugh-choke and looked out across the street as if contemplating escape. "I'm sure I sound stupid…"

"No!" Krory reached across the table and gripped her unoccupied hand in his large, fine-boned one. "You sound honest and…" They looked at each other and then hurriedly away. Krory squeezed the tiny hand that felt so very familiar and took a stabilizing sigh, "and,"

* * *

"Komui! Komui, I-oh!" Allen stopped short as he burst into he office and saw that the high-backed chair of the Black Order's supervisor was empty.

Stunned by the singularity of this phenomenon, Allen simply stood blinking for a few beats before turning on his heel and heading for the door looking thoughtful.

"Hey!" a strained voice called from the couch opposite Komui's desk.

Allen noticed (for the first time) two sneakered feet protruding from one side of the plump poof and could barely contain his panic as an arm flopped over the back (limply clutching a science magazine) but his fears instantly quieted when, at last, a familiar head appeared, staring blearily across at him.

"Can I help you?"

* * *

"And open and good-hearted and intelligent and sensitive and you-" Krory had halfway stood in the heat of his monologue, and now sat again, voice becoming markedly quieter, "You look beautiful, Miranda."

She looked up slowly and they found each other caught in the other's eyes.

"As far as I can tell," Krory let her hand slip from his and cast his eyes down shyly, "you're quite a lady… and you always have been."

There were a few seconds of awkward silence and then Miranda smiled in an equal measure of shyness and whispered, "Thank you, Mister Krory…"

They both sat wrapped in their own private thoughts for quite some time before Krory said, fist clenched and cheeks red, "Arystar… Arystar will be fine."

"Thank you, Arystar," Miranda regarded her thumbs engaging in some sort of half-twiddle, half-wrestle, seemingly of their own accord, and swallowed hard, fully aware that her table mate kept stealing sideways glances in her direction.

Krory attempted to save the situation by returning to the original (and less embarrassing) topic of conversation, "I-… What you said about going back to your old home once, it sounds… intriguing. I think I, too, could learn much from such a pilgrimage but unfortunately…" Krory shifted uncomfortably, "I have nowhere to go."

* * *

"Mmf…" Lavi squinted sideways venomously, still sore from the kick to the shins that had brought him down to Earth on top of a book. For the thousandth time in the past half hour, he raised ever so slightly on his knees to rub his rear (he had the strong suspicion that he'd acquired a bruised tailbone from the fall) only to receive a smart rap on the shoulders.

"Sit!"

"Eh! Why can't I shift a bit you crabby old panda!? It's hard to sit like this forever, you know…"

"Not if you practice," Bookman raised the rolled up map threateningly and Lavi instantly settled back down in his kneeling position.

But instantly was not (and never had been) fast enough for Bookman.

The heavy parchment crashed mercilessly down on Lavi's right shoulder. He cringed slightly before morosely starting to read again. The room returned to complete and utter silence for a few moments before being shattered by a smart thwack.

"JIJI!" cried Lavi, glaring at his mentor ruefully.

Bookman released a cloud of smoke in perfect rings from his pipe before explaining (without even the slightest attempt to hide his amusement), "Fly."

* * *

"Novhere?"

"No… Even if the villagers let me back into the town, which I highly doubt, my house itself isn't more than a stack of charred blocks, if that… I'd wager that the townspeople broke down the walls and put the stones to some better use…"

"Vas there a fire?"

"Of sorts…" Krory looked up somewhat sheepishly, "It was no accident, the fire I mean. I set the place aflame the day I left," Krory hurriedly took up staring at his hands, unable to face Miranda's expression of shock, "I wanted to forget everything in and about that castle, which, by and large, would be fine except that I haven't forgotten anything at all." He chanced a look up before swiftly returning his gaze to his clasped hands.

Miranda's eyes were wide, dark pupils surrounded in white surrounded in the glossy black of severe depression.

"I do miss my plants though… aru," Krory sighed (he _did_ miss his plants) and then forced a small smile. "It's no matter though, really. I've been making my way just fine."

* * *

"Oh, uh, um no… not particularly…" Allen cast about wildly for more to say as if it would appear in sentences along the book spines. He saved the situation in the only way he knew, bowing low and fast, "Sorry to wake you."

"You're fine," yawned Reever, stretching and standing, "I didn't mean to doze off myself," Allen hovered at the door, anxious to leave but not wanting to depart while the director was speaking, "I'm waiting for Komui too, actually…" Reever squinted as he brought his arm across his body in a shoulder stretch. "Far as I know he's still in a meeting…" Reever hobbled over to a door and investigated the view along the crack, sighing when satisfied and making his bleary way back to Komui's desk.

He collapsed in the chair and waved a hand indicating the couch he'd been previously occupying while using the other hand to detach his pair of reading glasses from his coat pocket, "Please have a seat if you're willing to wait around a bit," he gingerly lifted a document from the supervisor's desk, "I imagine he'll be out soon…"

After some considering he put the paper down and selected another and then another, the sorting process shortening with each sheet and two piles swiftly taking shape. Allen hesitated for a few moments before coming forward and sliding stiffly onto the couch.

"Thank you…" Slowly and subconsciously, Allen began to drift backwards on the overstuffed couch cushions from his overly polite place on the edge to a quite at home looking slump. He rubbed the slick arm thoughtfully, a small frown settling on his lips and gray eyes flickering between his finger and Reever. _Maybe… he can help me… I jolly well have nothing better to do than give him a chance in any case…_ "Reever, can I ask you a question?"

"What kind of question?"

"Well, actually… it's a rather personal question…"

"Fire away. I can answer anything but biology… it's been way too long…"

* * *

"Arystar, it seems to me… excuse my assumptions, but it seems to me that you didn't burn down your home at all."

"Oh, I did though Miranda, I most certainly did," Krory said with a sad tilt of his head.

Miranda looked up, searching for the right words to explain herself, "No, no… I mean yes: you did physically burn down a building but I've come to think that a home is very different. For me, I never really had a home until I came here. Home is Komui and Kanda, Lavi, you, Allen… Lenalee; everyone." Miranda spread her arms. Krory studied her intently, trying to make sense of what she was describing. "My friends," she offered, "the people dearest to me."

"I… I think I see, Miranda…"

"And, vell, I assume that for some people, maybe you, vhat's dearest to you could be something besides people, maybe your plants that you spoke of or maybe a place or anything."

"I understand now," Krory nodded slowly, "It's just as the say: 'Home is where the heart is'… but I-"

"Good afternoon, can I get you two drinks?"

* * *

"Cut it out, jiji, I know you're not asleep."

"I'm not trying to look asleep," Bookman opened one eye slightly, "I'm _meditating_." Lavi did his best to stifle the exasperated sigh that threatened to escape his throat but let a short 'hu' pass despite his efforts. "You should try it sometime. Very good for stress and getting things off your mind-"

"Yeah, well, that's just super."

"And it should help you with the kneeling thing… In any case," both slit eyes opened now and the minute exorcist turned to look at his scowling and scribbling apprentice, "you should take a break."

Before Lavi could look up with an incredulous stare, his mentor had resumed his meditating. Lavi cautiously (in case this was all a ruse that would result in getting swatted by the map again) turned from his desk and settled amongst the Bookman paraphernalia littering their room, copying Bookman's stance exactly. The instant he became still he opened his eye, half expecting to see the black blur of his teacher on the attack but (after repeating this several times and getting the same result: nothing) Lavi finally relaxed and began trying to clear the clutter in his mind that put their décor to shame.

* * *

"Vater, please!" blurted Miranda (more out of surprise than an actual desire) before quickly adding, "thank you!" at the urging of her inner-Allen. Her reflexes gave the equally startled Krory more time to consider his choice (or rather, would have under normal circumstances but Krory had been so enraptured by the conversation that he was quite out of his senses) so before he could form the words to request his coveted tomato juice, he stammered,

"M-me too, please," and feeling his companion's high set bar needed to be met if not crossed, "thank you very much."

The squat mustached waiter made a few passes with his pen over his order pad before trotting off to retrieve their beverages. The bemused pair blinked at each other as it registered that they had just ordered drinks and, much to Krory's bewilderment, Miranda giggled and gave him a childish grin.

"Did you vant vater?"

"N-no… it wasn't my first choice in any case."

She flat out laughed this time, a light but rather pleasantly (Krory thought) loud sound.

"I didn't either!" She whispered conspiratorially. The usually gloomy twenty-eight year-old looked on in surprise as his usually ten times gloomier friend attempted to calm her fit of giggles. Before she had calmed herself, Krory found himself smiling and, before he knew it, laughing along. The sound came out easily, hungry for use after years of neglect.

_She's more like you than I thought…_

* * *

"Do you know a lot about relationships, Reever? People relationships I mean…"

"I'm here… so I guess so, yeah…"

"Well see… it's about Kanda," Reever came to a halt in sorting and looked up over his glasses. "Mostly, anyways…" Allen pulled his legs up onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling as he contemplated how much he should say, "Lavi and Miranda too kind of, but mostly Kanda…"

As to be expected given Allen's general lack of emotional control, before the better half of a quarter of an hour had passed he was in full-out gush mode and increasing steadily in speed.

"-and I haven't the slightest idea how he can flip about his emotions like that and even less of a notion as to why _anyone_ would want to be so two-faced and over-protective of their feelings because I can't imagine that he's had any worse of a time in life than I have and all this after he was almost _nice_ to me, of all the bloody people in the world, and I just can't stand not understanding the whole bloody three of them; it's absolutely beyond the outside of enough!" Allen took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled, cheeks pink from exertion.

Reever cleaned his glasses carefully, taking as long as possible in order to buy some time for contemplation.

"Okay… first, you're going to have to try and calm down…" Reever hooked the glasses in his coat pocket again and leaned across the desk, hands clasped at the edge. "Second, it seems to me that most of this is the kind of stuff you have to decide for yourself but I'll give you my angle on it anyways. And third," Allen hugged his knees to his chest and propped his chin atop them, leaning forward too, "I must warn you that my answers won't be as good as they would have been closer to graduation… This is _very_ much a question of biology…"

* * *

Krory prodded at his coleslaw. He'd never been a fan of greens (it made him feel slightly unclean, like he was doing plants a great ethical wrong) but this was simply repulsive, his lack of appetite aside. However, it was undeniably rude to stop and look around idly while a lady was still eating, so prodding it was. He did steal a quick glance though to check upon her progress in order to pace his food rearranging and discovered that she too was dragging her fork around her plate instead of consuming any of it's contents. He did not drop his gaze, observing her neatly wipe her mouth with the much too large white cloth napkins before looking up seriously and meeting his stare.

"Arystar…" she leaned forward slightly and then to the left a few centimeters so the umbrella pole was no longer between them before continuing, "you don't have to feel sorry for me."

* * *

"Jiji… I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of not having a heart."

* * *

"Feel sorry for you?"

"Yes, Arystar. You do, don't you? I understand though, no need to refute it."

* * *

"What you're not getting is that Kanda is just as confused about everything as you are but just keeps it bottled up so his real feelings break out in flashes, as far as I can tell… I knew people like that six years ago anyways."

* * *

"For a long time I felt sorry for myself too. I guess vhen you look at me, pity is the first thing you feel. For a long time, I hid from my reflection for that very reason but I'm finished vith running avay. There really is novhere left to go."

* * *

"So what?"

"What do I do?"

"What indeed."

"Can't I at least have a hint?"

…

"Jiji…"

* * *

"And in that vay, Arystar, I think ve're very similar, aren't ve? You have novhere to go because you actually did burn down your home, didn't you?"

* * *

"So what I would recommend is exactly what you did when he got mad at you; nothing. Let Kanda get upset and don't bother yourself, same goes for the others. I do that these days even. It's always best to stay calm and let the stressed out people come to you when they're ready instead of bothering them. It works especially well with Komui, come to think of it…"

* * *

"I-" Krory had to look down, crushed under the weight of painful memories and feelings he had never discussed but that were now incredibly close to spilling out of him faster than he was ready for to a semi-stranger with beautiful brown eyes so very similar to a familiar blue pair. "I-" It seemed as though his emotions were set on escaping whether or not he found his voice.

Crying felt better than he remembered.

* * *

"I've gotta go, gramps…"

"Where?"

"I have to go tell Yu what's going on and explain everything to Allen and most importantly apologize to Miranda. She didn't ask for all this anyways…"

"Hm. Sounds involved."

"What's that supposed to mean, panda?"

"What indeed…"

Lavi sighed, casting a dark look at the ever-cryptic Bookman as if he could glare the answers out of him before navigating his way to the door, stretching slightly. Just as he reached for the handle his meditating senior spoke,

"Did I ever say you couldn't have a heart?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Oh," Bookman cracked an eye open, lips lifting in a mysterious smile, "nice sitting by the way. I'll expect you to be able to do it for at least two hours tomorrow."

* * *

"Arystar!" Miranda stood and scooted one of the two unoccupied chairs out of her way in order to reach his side.

Krory sniffed, unable to stop the streams of tears pouring form his eyes.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry! A-aru!"

"Oh, Arystar, don't vorry…" She put an arm on his back and offered one of the unused napkins to wipe his eyes. He accepted it as graciously as one who is sobbing over a decade's worth of tears could while Miranda looked on with patient sympathy. After a few shameless minutes and several hearty pats on the back, Krory managed to bring himself back to a relative state of calm.

"I'm so sorry, Miranda, you shouldn't have to deal with this at all. This whole outing was for you to relax and recuperate after the boys' mistreatment of you and here I go bawling like a five year-old-"

"No, Arystar!" She shook her head, thick tresses trembling and straying across her happily smiling countenance. "You couldn't have done a nicer thing for me! Ever since I met you, I could tell you needed a good cry. I'm just glad that I could help you get it out of your system…" the frauline hesitated before going on, "Arystar… you made me feel, for the first time I can remember, that I'm vorth something. You showed me today that ve're equals, that I can be equal to _anyone_ and it's… exciting and scary and new, but I feel okay because I have… you." She exploded in a short burst of nervous laughter in response to his apprehensive and startled expression, going on quickly, "Vhat I'm trying to say is that… vell, vhat am I trying to say? You're a very special person, Arystar. You understand vhat people say and vhat they don't say and you know how to take care of them because of that, even if you don't realize you're taking care of them. It's because you have a good heart," suddenly she slid an arm around his front to meet the one on his back and the rather startled Krory found himself in a fierce but gentle hug. Warm breath brushed his ear as Miranda went on quietly, "You have a good heart and novhere to go because you're carrying your home vith you." He felt a hand slide down to his chest to rest upon his currently pounding heart. "It's right here, hm?"

Miranda leaned back, warm hand still pressed to his heat-absorbing black uniform, to consider him. Something about his expression must have concerned her because she lifted her slight weight from him and leaned forward again to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Don't vorry… It's not my desire to take her place, it vouldn't vork out for us…" Krory was dimly aware that she was sliding something into his hands as she spoke, "Those things you said, before," Miranda stood, both hands holding one of his and a smile playing across her lips, "I'm sure she heard them."

Before Krory had time to react, the brunette squeezed his hand, turned and ran (with a speed much greater than he would have guessed) to the corner and then across the street, a dark figure among a million others milling about in the twelve o'clock lunch rush. He slowly opened his hand to see what he knew was there.

A crumpled five-pound note rested in his palm, for all the world, staring him down as stubbornly as the woman whose pocket it came from would have.

_She really is more like you than I thought… Lenalee._

* * *

"And, Allen, if I were in your position, keep in mind we're different people with different values and all that," Reever leaned forward and smiled kindly with a mildy suggestive raise of the eyebrows, "I'd ask Kanda if he would mind finishing that dance sometime… It could be just the thing to put him off guard enough to say more than he means to."

Allen blinked a couple of times, clearly struggling to take in all the director had said. Then he flushed and began, "Are you suggesting that I-"

"Arigato, Komui-san."

"Well, of course! It really was my pleasure! Come by anytime and we can chat again-oh!" Komui stopped short upon seeing the pair in his office. "Well, hello, Allen! Can I help you with something?"

Kanda appeared from behind the towering supervisor looking dangerous as ever save for a brief second in which Allen could have sworn he saw the swordsman's eyes widen with that peculiar look he'd had when he'd asked him if he could lead but, if it happened at all, it passed too quickly to have any meaning.

He stepped forwards towards the desk.

Allen stood quickly.

"Aren, I-"

"No, Komui. It's been taken care of," he looked down to Reever, willing the sleep-deprived Australian to understand his intense stare, "Thanks for sorting that out, Reever." He gazed around, purposefully looking over Kanda as he bowed a minute increment and stiffly uttered, "Good day to you all," before all but running to the door.

"My word, what was that about?" Komui took a step towards the door but then turned back to the desk where Reever was shuffling some forms as he rose from the high-backed chair.

Reever dropped his gaze and shrugged, replying lightly, "Just some paperwork stuff. Wanted to check out a few stats from his background info, that's all."

Keeping his eyes firmly down, the director too made his exit from the heinous organization disaster of Komui's office, knowing that if he attempted to endure the truth would slide out. He shook his head.

_Hope you know what you're doing, Walker…_


	9. Drinking Problems

In which most everything should be revealed...hopefully

A thousand thank yous to my typer. :) She's a real hoss for putting these up so quickly.

Hope you enjoy!

-bows-

* * *

The 'lights out' warning had sounded long ago, or so it seemed. Time passed strangely at night.

But if anyone understood it (and she certainly felt that she did), it was Miranda.

At the prompting of her internal clock, she opened her eyes and sat up in an automatic, rigid way like a zombie rising from its crypt. A brief pause for rummaging beneath her bed brought forth a bulging brown paper sack with the top rolled firmly down. She unfurled and refurled it several times, the only sign of her nerves as she walked swiftly but steadily to the door and into the slowly ticking away night.

* * *

His breaths came heavy and fast. Kanda flicked his gaze up to the large clock above the exit of the training rooms to watch the second hand, comparing it to the pace of his exhales. With each warm gust his lungs gave out, the thinnest hand moved- in perfect time.

He smirked. It was time to go.

Kanda sheathed Mugen and made his way to the door, swinging his shirt over his sweaty back and leaving his burning skin open to the night's cool kiss.

* * *

The halls were empty. Empty and dark. Miranda, however, was in full command of her senses and hadn't the slightest trouble seeing her way past the endless rows of generally black but occasionally light-trimmed doorways along the halls leading to the cafeteria. After all, she had not slept a wink since she'd locked herself in her bedroom at one o'clock when she'd returned from lunch that afternoon and had instead laid on her bed waiting for this hour when she could safely navigate the Order in almost guaranteed solitude.

A smile spread across her previously tight-lipped frowning lips at this thought.

It had been well worth the wait and the pangs in her heart that had increased in magnitude at having to ignore the knocks of, first, Allen, then Lavi, and, at last, Krory. She just simply couldn't face them that afternoon. And it would be a wonder if she could face them tomorrow.

Her grasp tightened on the bag.

* * *

Kanda stalked rather blindly down the hall for quite some time as his vision adjusted. For all his efforts to clear his mind before bed with intense training, thoughts of recent events sharpened as the empty bliss of his workout mind-set dulled.

He mumbled darkly to himself (mostly 'che's) as the General Tiedoll in his subconscious listed the number of people he'd upset in the last few days.

He'd fought with Lavi, verbally and slightly physically, he'd been extra prickly with Krory, he'd rendered Miranda unconscious, and, based on the way the idiot had acted, ruined the dumbass moyashi's life. Normally, this would all be fine with Kanda. Fighting and being prickly and knocking people out and ruining anyone and everyone's lives were things he did quite regularly and even, to some extent, enjoyed as recreation, but this time it was not normal. He felt _sorry_. _Sorry_.

"As well you should," his inner-Tiedoll sighed condemningly.

"Che!"

"Now, Kanda…"

"Hush, you! I did nothing wrong!"

"But you did, Kanda," the majestically glowing Tiedoll of his imagination fluttered (fluttered? Why the hell did it have wings?) out to his shoulder, sketch book cradled like a lyre, "You did. That's why you went to talk to Komui… You needed to tell someone your feelings…"

"Go the hell away!"

"You're sad because you hurt your friends, Kanda…"

"I don't have friends!"

"Is that true, Kanda?" The repulsively white creature flew slowly across his line of vision to his other shoulder, facing him all the while, "Is it?"

"It damn well-" Kanda started as the sound of a familiar voice registered, breaking the fantasies (or perhaps phantoms) of his weary mind. He looked to the source, an illuminated door, and realized that his autopilot must have led him astray.

But perhaps this was to his advantage.

* * *

The large wooden doors to the cafeteria were cracked open. This only slightly bothered Miranda, who was used to finding them shut on her midnight trips, but after peeking in first to ensure that it was indeed unoccupied, she ventured in and headed for one of the far, shadowy tables. The light in the kitchen was on and she knew that somewhere within Jerry was probably still up and about as always but it didn't matter. Whether he saw her or not was of little concern (though she now suspected that he knew and had known about her escapades for sometime now. Jerry was a very wise man she'd found out).

He wouldn't tell.

She placed her parcel on the table and, with some ceremony and purpose, began to uncurl the top. There was a small stab of guilt as she did this and thought of the boys- what would Allen and Lavi say?- but she firmly pressed on, dismissing it. Some times were for being good and innocent and kind, some times were for being her.

She finished her task, expression grim, and reached in. They would just have to forgive her when (and if) they found out.

* * *

Lenalee jumped as her bedroom door opened, thoughts going first to whether or not she'd heard a knock and second to the fact that she was only wearing a towel. All fear or anxiety vanished , however, as soon as she identified the person who stepped in quickly and quietly, closing the door behind them.

"Oh, thank _God_ it's you, Kanda! For a minute I thought-"

"I heard you singing," Kanda sat down on the end of the bed and Lenalee propped herself up on her elbows to be closer to a conversing level, "Your sad song." He blinked, slightly perplexed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Kanda! And you don't even know that it's sad," she smirked at the still questioning-looking swordsman, "it's in Chinese."

"But I can feel that it's sad, Lenalee. You sang it all the time when we were young," Kanda looked across the room to the bathroom door. "And you still smile too much when you're upset. Don't try to fool me."

It was now his turn to smirk while she scrambled for a response.

"What are you doing up at this hour anyways, knowitall-san?"

"I was training, of course. The better question is what are you doing awake?"

"I took a shower, _obviously_."

"At 11:45? Che! Give me a break!" Lenalee opened her mouth to protest but Kanda went on, "Okay, say I believe that; why are you taking a shower so late?"

Lenalee inhaled and then deflated, falling back to laying on her stomach before rolling over to her back and cutting her eyes up to a stern looking Kanda.

"You first: why are you here?"

* * *

Miranda was not addicted to alcohol. She drank only when necessary and never too much. She was well aware of her limit and drank only enough to take her to the brink of loosing total control in order to thoroughly douse, if not completely drown, her troubles. A six-pack was exactly the correct amount. Cheap, yes, but just as effective as her preferred ales and vodka. Beer was just less enjoyable.

Miranda fished in her pocket for the lid opener and had the first bottle opened in a matter of seconds. It fizzed pleasantly and she lifted it to her lips gracefully, waiting for the patter of microscopic spews of the amber liquid to sink to a drinkable froth, and then tossed the bottle back, gulping the alcohol down like it was air; the link between living or dying. Three quarters of the bottle depleted, she paused for breath, slamming it down on the table. She brought a wrist across her mouth and sighed contentedly.

The flutters in her stomach in concern to discovery and deceit were now only sluggish flaps that would find their wings too soaked to bother her after she finished the bottle and all the weight on her chest was rising slowly. She allowed another blissful sigh to escape her lips before the bottle was smushed against them and then the next and the next, the fire of the spirits working through her body with every beat of her heart.

She was a quarter ways through the third bottle when the door to the kitchen was swung wide and a tall silhouette appeared in the square of light, shadow stretching across the row between the middle tables.

"Goodnight, Jerry! And thanks again!" There was a distant response before the door shut, killing the shadow and bleaching the silhouette an eerie white against the light-less dining hall.

Miranda followed the figure with her eyes as she polished off the bottle nonplussed. The empty bottle clanged as it's base came down hard on the wooden tabletop.

The figure stopped.

She opened the fourth bottle, ignoring the shock and confusion that were evident in the fellow prowler's panicked movements.

"He-hello?"

* * *

"I was on my way to my room after training and I… was thinking so I just kind of wandered around and ended up here by accident and I heard your singing. So I stopped in."

"Hm… I've been thinking too, Kanda…" Lenalee rolled over again and propped her chin on Kanda's thigh (much to his discomfort. She had always been blazé in concern to physical contact with him and he had always been a nervous wreck in concern to her blaze-ness).

As usual, she felt him stiffen but went on. He would relax eventually.

"I couldn't get to sleep so I thought I'd take a hot shower to calm my mind but it only made me think more…" She peered up through half-dry bangs, her most innocent and earnest expression in place, "What's bothering you?"

"Che! As if I'll tell…"

"Kanda!"

"Well, I might… after you…"

"It's my room! You first!"

"No way in hell! And who cares if it's your room! I'm dominant in this situation. Talk."

"_What!_ You think _you're_ dominant? What makes you dominant?"

"Che! Everything! I could-how do they say?-'have my way with you' if I wanted and you couldn't stop me, bathtowelatmidnight-san! Che! You should lock your door and be more careful!"

Lenalee rolled her eyes as she flopped to her dorsal side, head resting in his lap.

"You wouldn't 'have your way with me', Kanda," she looked up sternly and slightly accusingly, "you're gay."

"Ch!"

* * *

"W-who's- _Miranda?!_" Komui Lee straightened his glasses, eyes wide in surprise and desperately striving to see in the dark.

"Hello," Miranda gave a small wave from the wrist before clutching bottle four by the neck and expertly levering the cap off. She downed it, pausing halfway through to hiccup in a (somehow) lady-like and befitting manner.

One of the other bottles fell on it's side and rolled a short ways, the sound echoing loudly in the large empty dining hall. Komui cringed at the noise, moving cautiously towards her in his own overdramatic way.

"Miranda, what on Earth are you doing here so late and what was that startling clamor? It sounded quite like- _Miranda!_ Surely you haven't- are you- what are- _you're drunk!_"

"I'm not drunk…" Miranda blinked up at him owlishly, "I can't afford to get drunk anymore, vhat vith prices the vay they are."

Komui sat across from her, looking at the empty bottles as if they might leap up and attack him and twiddling his thumbs nervously. For a while it seemed as though he was just going to sit quietly for a while and, having no problems with company, Miranda opened her second to last bottle lovingly.

The last two were for savoring.

She took a luxurious sip and as she delicately replaced her libation, Komui burst, "Why, Miranda? Surely you aren't suffering from depression still after having had counseling all this time-"

"I never vent…"

"What? Why didn't-"

"The man you sent me to left you a note, I think."

"That _idiot_…" Komui gnawed on a knuckle thoughtfully and rapidly.

Miranda was, indeed, not drunk. Though four plus drinks could render lesser beings senseless, she was blessed with unusually high tolerance. This deserves mentioning not only to give her credit for an exceptional talent but also because it explains why she was not oblivious to the fact that Komui's actions and speech, though normally energetic and charged, were a slight bit more energetic and charged than usual.

She sipped again, studying how he fidgeted and opened his mouth as if to speak several times, apparently thinking too fast for his verbal skills to keep pace. Apparently, she was not the only one with drinking problems.

* * *

"Well, you are, aren't you?"

Kanda looked away, throat dry and incapable of allowing his voice passage. He swallowed several times in an attempt to drown his feelings before they clawed their way up but it was too late. Lenalee had always had a special talent for getting him to, in his mind, tattle on himself.

"Yes," he managed hoarsely, "at least… I think so…"

"Aw, Kanda, don't be so grim about it! I knew for a while, I just wanted to hear you say it…" she guided his face back to where she could look into his confused eyes and stroked his cheek. "It's not a bad thing, it's just different-"

"No! It's bad!" He tore their gaze apart again but did not succeed in escaping her caressing hand. "You have no idea how bad it is."

"Ha!" her sarcastic and bitter tone made him look back, surprise over-riding his own panic and fear and feeling of isolation. This time it was the deep plum eyes that kept their visions from connecting. "You think I don't know how bad it is to realize you might love someone you shouldn't?"

* * *

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Miranda… can you tell me what's bothering you?" A deep breath had seemed to stabilize Komui considerably or at least enough for him to form a single, cohesive statement.

Miranda placed the halfway empty bottle down carefully. She ran a finger through the watery circles left by sweating bottle bottoms and thought long and hard about his question. She lifted dark-rimmed eyes to his open and concerned visage, so light in comparison to her heavy countenance and so sincere and inviting. In appearance, Komui had little in common with his beloved younger sister but in their feelings and outlooks, and particularly their compassion, it was clear that they shared a sibling bond. If there was anyone in the Order she could tell, she surmised, it was her supervisor.

Words found her more easily than they ever had before, "If you vant to listen, yes. Yes I can."

Komui smiled deeply and somewhat distantly.

"That, Miranda, is about all I _can_ do these days, it seems. You're in luck." Miranda slid the last bottle across the table. "What is this-oh! Oh, no, no, no! Please, go ahead and-"

"You can't listen vithout a drink! I'd be rude to keep it!"

"Well, so kind of you, but I don't-"

"You must, Supervisor! No discussion is complete vithout a little spirit!"

"Well, I-oh, what's the loss?" Komui accepted the opener from a pleased-looking Miranda and took a hearty gulp. "Alright! Hit me!"

"A toast first?"

"Ah, yes!" The twenty-nine year-old thrust his bottle up to meet Miranda's, feeling oddly light-headed and fearless. "To you, Miranda!"

"And you, Komui!"

"And Jerry!"

"Yes, Jerry too."

"And Lenalee!" Miranda felt her cheeks redden and was glad for the darkness, offering only a fervent nod. "I think that's good, don't you?" Another nod. "Then cheers!" Both took a deep swig. "Hm! This is _quite_ good, but I digress… Your story?"

* * *

Kanda was quiet for a long time, quiet until the pained expression on his comrade's face softened into apologetic and she looked back up gushing, "I'm so sorry, Kanda, I didn't mean to snap! It's just late and-"

"Hush," Kanda gently put a hand on her bare shoulder, noting how strangely large it looked next to her petite-ness. "You don't have to worry so soon… You have plenty of time for rove, anyways…"

"So do you, Kanda!"

"Do I?"

Suddenly, the sixteen year-old burst into tears and grabbed his waist, burying her face in his stomach.

"D-don't say things like that, K-Kanda!"

"Che…" the usually anger-packed word came out rather affectionately. He moved his hand into her short, slick hair, fingers tangling in it gently, marveling at how much the thin but strong strands felt like his own. He waited patiently, massaging her scalp soothingly until the shakes of sobs shrank to slight trembles and sniffling.

She said (into his toned tummy), "I've always... thought of you as a sister."

"A _what?_"

"A sister," he felt her smile and glared down reproachfully. "Sorry, but it's true! Brothers are all well and good, but you can't tell them things… I can tell you anything."

"You have a strange mind like your nii-san's…"

"Don't be sore! It's just how I feel… I've never had any women or girls to be my sister so it had to be you!" She rolled just enough for one eye to be seen, twinkling with the odd mixture of recent tears and current mischief, and added seriously, "If there had been a sister I promise I'd think of you as a close brother instead."

"What about Miranda?"

Lenalee hid again.

"That's just it, Kanda… I want," he felt her inhale fiercely, "_so_ badly to be her friend, to hear what she's keeping locked up inside her, but she's so strange, almost scared, around me. She's so shy and withdrawn and I'm afraid if I try any harder to get close to her than I already do that she'll completely close up and I'll lose my chance. I'm…" he felt a sigh escape (it tickled quite a bit), "worried about her. She's so… delicate."

"Ha! You'd be surprised! 'Delicate'? Really? Ha!" A tremor of laughter shook Lenalee out of her position nuzzled into his abs.

She sat up, squinting suspiciously.

"What in the world are you laughing at?" When no response came besides more hysterical peals of mirth, she poked him square in the chest, now kneeling beside him and demanded hotly, "What's so funny!? I was being completely serious about what I said! _Kanda!_" He fell back, still issuing his distinctive dry and rarely heard laugh as if every word she spoke amused him even further. "Godammit, Kanda, are you really that tired?" She leapt on him, good-naturedly, and shook his shoulders before flopping down and feigning a pout when the shaking had no effects.

Eventually, the laughter faded to short pants, the rill of pebbles following an avalanche, and the atypically grinning swordsman managed, "Gomen, nee-chan, gomen!"

"Hmph!"

"No, no! Don't be so droopy!" He looked down his body to where her chin rested on his sternum and tried to force the corners of her mouth up with his fingers.

"Hmph!" She turned her head to the side and he gave up, continuing to attempt amends.

"I heard and understood all you said! I wasn't laughing at that! It was just 'delicate'… I think it's funny that you see her that way."

"But she is!" Lenalee stared across at him beseechingly and with some reproach. "There's nothing funny about the truth!"

Kanda glanced up, still smirking.

"It's not-oh, never mind. You'll know soon enough."

"Where are you going?"

"Well, I'm not going to sleep with you, am I?" Kanda sat up, forcing Lenalee to rise too.

"What are you talking about when you say 'you'll know soon enough'? What does that mean?" She forced him down again (granted, he was not trying) and was answered by a humored snort.

"Like I'll tell you! You'll know soon enough, alright?"

"Kandaaaa!" she bounced up and down a bit, joggling them both. He made to sit up again and this time exerted enough force to remain where he was when met with her resistance. "It's my room! You have to tell!"

"Oh not this again," Kanda rolled his eyes and gave a little ground in their battle for becoming vertical or horizontal but then, a rather crazed expression on his face, sprang up marginally, grabbing her arms tightly. "Give it up or I'll have my way with you!"

Lenalee's eyes narrowed instead of widening in expected shock and she worked a hand up to her chest, grasping the tucked in corner that kept her towel up and threatened, "Not if I have my way with you first!"

"Iie!" Kanda rolled so that he, still clutching her upper arms, was on top and then quickly released her and rose, descending the bed in moments and throwing on his shirt as he headed for the door. "Che! You violent woman!"

When he turned to look back, Lenalee was sticking out her tongue peevishly and hugging her pillow hard.

He put his hands on his hips in mock reprimand and lectured, "Naughty nee-chan! Your face will freeze like that one day!"

He pushed open the door to the pitch black hallway and paused, facing her seriously now. She was watching him with controlled melancholy.

"Remember what I said, Lenalee... You have plenty of time for r-… _love_." He closed the door halfway and then (unable to back down in a competition, as always) flung it open to stick his tongue out before closing it gently and heading off into a much warmer night than he'd left.

* * *

"And then there's poor Allen… The boy's only fifteen, I can't imagine what the little kinder thinks of all this mess. My only solace is his lack of innocence because of his teacher vhich is really quite an awful vay to think about it vhen it comes down to it but I rest easier knowing _I_ von't scar him because it's already been done, vhich brings me to Lavi… He's a truly bright and vunderful young man but it's just that: he's young! Sometimes I find myself vishing… I don't know, that I vas younger or he older but really, deep down, I don't think it vould vork for us, you know? I think he'll find someone vith his same fire vithin and he or she vill make for a much better companion than I vould. I love his passion and zest but… I vould never enjoy it too… he needs someone vith that same passion and zest, not someone quiet and boring like me… I'm more like Krory but," Miranda gave a deep, shuttering sigh, lids closing gently, "he is in love already and alvays will be. Somevhere, there is a very lucky voman who I pity too much to envy because she can't be vith him, for vhatever reason. Broken hearts like his and mine could never be happy together. And Kanda… he is still a mystery, as ever…"

Komui raised his eyebrows at this. Miranda made as if to speak but then paused to take a slow gulp of beer before going on miserably.

"He kissed me and now they all think I forgot it vhen he knocked me unconscious, but I didn't! I didn't and I can't and- oh!" She put her face in her hands, continuing in a heart-wrenching mumble, "Now I don't know vhat to make of it and I missed the chance to tell them and that kiss… it…it vas so strange… I don't understand at all but it didn't seem…" she peered over her fingertips, hands sliding down to free her lips and the hesitant words coming from them, "It didn't seem real… I mean, it definitely vas but…"

"It felt like he didn't intend it to, for lack of better word, 'count'?" Komui made air quotes and Miranda looked down and then nodded.

"Yes… yes, I guess so… Yes. That sounds right…"

"Maybe he did it for himself… I can't say much more, but I do know something, a missing piece perhaps, that I can't really tell you but I think my assumption is fairly accurate," Komui cleaned his glasses (much more sloppily than usual) and put them on slightly lopsided. "He needed to test something about himself and used you, unfortunately though not unpredictably. I wouldn't worry too much about him. As for the rest of them," Komui swirled his bottle to see if any drink was left and, upon seeing a centimeter tall amber disk splash at the movement, finished it off before going on, "It seems like you know what's best. You just have to act on it or, in some cases, not act. You're a smart woman, Miranda, and a strong one too, underneath all your insecurities. Follow your heart and use that spine of yours! I daresay you've got more of one than me! You're still standing after five and I," Komui hiccuped and covered his mouth (possibly more effeminate than Miranda in this respect), "am ready to drop after one!"

He smiled, earnest happiness evident even through his tipsiness. "Speaking of which… I should probably go back to the office… I have," he tried to stand but collapsed before he'd made it thirty centimeters from his chair, "work to do…"

"Here, let me help," Miranda slid the bottles carefully into her sack, crimped the top down, then hurried over to the end of the table and quickly around to where the rather wasted supervisor was struggling to prop himself up.

"Ah, ha, ha!" Miranda lifted his arm (causing him to totally lose his balance and topple over quite comically) and hefted it (along with his entire weight) over her shoulder as he gave a helpless laugh. "Thank you, Miranda!" She shoved her shoulder into his side and dragged him up. The pair hobbled slowly towards the still ajar cafeteria doors. "You really are a genuine," another hiccup, "lady!"

"Are you sure you vant to go to the office? I think you could do vith some rest…"

"No, no!" He shook his head violently, hat flopping pathetically. "I couldn't get to sleep if my life depended on it…"

"Oh!" huffed Miranda as she plowed through the door. "That reminds me… If you don't mind my asking… do you come down to drink often?"

"Oh, yes! All the time!" Komui sighed grandly, stumbling a few steps every now and then.

"I see!" Miranda paused for a moment to catch her breath, then went on, "Maybe we'll meet again sometime…"

"Perhaps!"

She spared him a quick glance before looking back to her path. He looked strangely at peace.

"And how many cups of coffee did you have tonight?"

"Ha, ha! _Cups!_ I drank four pots, at the very least!"

Miranda almost fell flat in shock but somehow managed to return her balance.

"Oh!" was all she could say.

A second stall for breath found a smile on her flushed face and, somehow, that same content feeling on his countenance in her heart.

There is some indescribable joy in learning, in the moment when you doubt your sanity the most, that there is someone who is crazier than you.


	10. Gentlemen At Last

"Allen! Are you ready for breakfast?" Jerry called over the heads of finders, staff, and exorcists to his favorite client. At the hail, Allen's brisk walk transformed into a sprint and he (with little regard for the grumbling early eaters he cut in front of) threw himself at the counter, leaning over to meet Jerry halfway in the service window.

"No, sorry, Jerry! I don't have time to eat first this morning."

"Oh, that's too bad, Allen," Jerry shook his head sadly.

"But I _promise_ I'll be back for lunch!" Allen added seriously. "Right now I need you to help me out! Have you seen Krory, Kanda, Lavi, or," he leaned forward, hand cupped at the side of his mouth and whispered, "most importantly, Miranda this morning?" Bright gray eyes blinked anxiously and booted feet went to their balls in order to elevate him a few centimeters while Jerry put a ladle to his lips thoughtfully.

"Hm! Krory came and went about an hour ago, I… haven't seen Lavi yet and I know for sure that Miranda won't be out and about until, at best, noon-"

"You know that? For sure?"

Jerry's braids bobbed as he nodded, shaking a ladle, "It's a fact I would put my life on! Now who was the last one?"

"Kanda."

"Yes, Kanda!" Jerry tapped his head and then pointed with the ladle, "He's right there!"

Allen followed the invisible line made from the brown hand expertly holding the perfectly straight wood handle to an angled bowl of gradated browns, through the swarms of white, gray, and black coats, to a solitary white shirt, split symmetrically by a tapered, glossy ponytail.

He whipped back around to the Indian cook, expression determined, "Thank you, Jerry!" he thrust his right hand over the counter and grasped Jerry's, shaking it energetically, "You're the best!"

"Well, I do try, Mister Walker!" chuckled Jerry as Allen hurried through the throng. "I'll be expecting you for lunch, now! So don't disappoint me, okay!" The boy turned briefly to give a thumbs-up before continuing on towards the breakfasting swordsman.

* * *

"Kanda!" a pair of familiar mismatched hands slammed down on the table next to his tray. He slid his precious soba away before glancing up irritably.

"What do you want, moyashi?" Kanda was not exactly his best after his late night and Allen was not exactly the person he wanted to see in his tenser moments. How dare the stupid beansprout have energy while he was wiped.

"I want you to help me! Up, up! We have to find the other guys! Come on!"

"Jesus, don't hyperventilate, dumbass! What the hell are you planning? The project's all but died, I don't see any reason why we should-"

"What did you say, Kanda?" Allen's eyes were suddenly huge, huge and in his face.

"The hell-"

"Did you say 'we'? Like us? You and me? Oh, Kanda!"

"Che!"

Allen lunged at him, squeezing slim shoulders with slim arms.

"You God-awful, chordy bloke! I knew you couldn't stay a bloody tosser forever!"

"What the _hell_ are you talking about! Let go of me right now or I'll kill you, and speak some god-damned English!"

Allen did not resist being shoved away and in fact, much to Kanda's chagrin, looked (if possible) even more blithe and elated. He put a hand on both Kanda's shoulders and said brightly, "But, Kanda! That _is_ English! That's as English as it gets!"

His repulsed companion opened and closed his mouth a couple times, at a loss for words, finally settling on a soft, resigned, "Che…" as he stood. He leaned his head to the side, bangs slanting over his sharp eyes as he sized the shorter boy up, arms crossed.

Allen stared back at him, looking (Kanda could not gauge whether it was intentionally or accidentally) vulnerable and innocent.

And needy.

And, though it pained him to even think it, pretty god-damned cute.

He looked at his unfinished soba and then slowly back at the wide-eyed creature. He sighed.

"If I know usagi- and I do- he'll be in his room. Let's go," Kanda squeezed past an exuberant but (very wisely) silent Allen and walked a few steps before turning back and jerking his head at the plate. "Finish that up. I'll wait."

Allen gave a little gasp, "Oh, thank you, Kanda, thank you!" before sitting down and (to Kanda's resigned admiration) expertly picking up the pair of chopsticks and digging in ferociously. Kanda slumped on to the edge of the table, looking away pointedly and hating himself for the light, giddy feeling in his chest.

"I don't need your thanks, moyashi…"

* * *

"Lavi!"

"Just give me another five seconds, jiji…"

"Oh-um… O-okay…" Allen patted Lavi's sleeping form and stepped back as if to wait.

Kanda shook his head, "No, moyashi. You have to do it like _this_," before Allen could protest, Kanda stepped forward and mercilessly ripped the loose knit blanket off of the curled up Bookman in training. "Rise and shine, baka usagi!"

"Eh! Yu, no! No, not again, give it back!" Lavi leaped up and lunged hysterically at the swordsman who dodged easily, running a few paces away. The single green eye widened, ready to leak salty heartbreak.

Kanda hugged the blanket and chanted in a sing-song voice, shifting from hip to hip in rhythm to his goading, "Not unless you get dre-essed!"

Lavi leaped into action, throwing parchment scrolls and heavy-bound books left and right in a frantic search for his uniform. Kanda sat to watch the show, smirking, and Allen pressed himself against the wall to avoid an untimely injury.

"Martyr-kun has a plan to save the world, I think," Kanda stated coyly. "Don't you, moyashi?"

"Wha? Moyashi?" Lavi froze and looked up, first at the grinning Asian who was violently snuggling into the captured bedspread (partially out of a want to torture Lavi further but mostly because he did so love the old-book scent of his usagi) and then wildly around until he found the nervously smiling Brit who offered a small wave. "Oh!" Lavi blinked a few times and then beamed. "Hi, Allen! I didn't even notice you were here!"

* * *

"Krorykins!"

"Krory?"

"OI! WHERE ARE YOU, CRAZY OLD VAMPIRE!!"

"Yu…"

"_Kanda!_"

"What? It's not like he won't know who I'm talking about. If anything, it will get his attention even better."

Lavi shook his head and jogged a ways on to peer out and around in the central, circular hallway while a glowering but tongue-biting Allen and emotionless Kanda slowly caught up. Lavi jumped onto the bottom rung of the railing and leaned slowly over, casting about for the tall, lanky figure of their last missing-in-action accomplice on lower levels before popping back up and releasing a put-back breath.

"Where _is_ he?" His companions arrived on either side of him, Kanda propping his elbows on the rail and Allen flinging his arms over it to dangle limply.

"How should I-"

"By jove, I think I've got it figured!" Allen sprang back suddenly, glaring in an enlightened way. It took his older peers a few seconds to realize all the implications of this exclamation and then to register that they should pursue Allen as he tore down the hall.

"Well, lead on, Sherlock!"

* * *

"Krory! Mister Krory! Krory, Krory!"

"What the hell is it doing!?"

"I don't think you have the right to ask, Yu…"

"Aren! Wait up, you bastard!" Kanda's command fell on deaf ears, however, as Allen had already run up a flight of steps (that Lavi instantly remembered though he couldn't recall when he'd last been there) and out an open arch. By the time the hunters caught up with the hunted, their overall quarry had been found and was just turning from a dramatic, gloomy slouch against the railing to say a depressing hello to Allen.

"Good morning… lovely day, isn't it?"

"Krory!" Allen hopped on to the rail to sit, doubled over so as to be at the moping Krory's level. "Come on! We have to pull it back together for Miranda! We're all terribly sorry about screwing things up so, but we're finally ready to do it right!" Allen straightened as Krory stood to his full height, never looking at his conversation partner, but out.

After a few beats he turned away and it seemed as through the foursome was being nonverbally told that they were now a trio.

Lavi came forward, ready to try his persuasion skills, "Krow, we-" but the swish of capes as Krory about faced regally cut him off.

"This really is a beautiful spot, Allen, I'm glad you acquainted me to it…" he bowed to the view and Lavi's brain clicked, placing the push-up fiasco to his memory of their location, "but it's so very rare to see you all acting as gentlemen that I would be a fool not to jump upon the opportunity to actually get down to business!"

* * *

"What the hell are we doing in a place like this!"

"Ssh! Kanda, keep your voice down! This is a boutique! We must be proper!"

"I know what a god-damned boutique is!" several nearby ladies cast dirty and scandalized looks in the direction of the awkward huddle of guys near the glass doors, "what I want to know is why the he-"

"May I help you, ma'am? Sirs?" A bespectacled fitter, tape measure draped about her neck and hair up in a tight, stylish bun, stepped up to them, digits pressed together in a very businesslike way. Lavi, ever the quick thinker, realized what took the other three what could have been a fatal few more seconds longer to get, one: that she thought at least one of them was a girl and two: it sure as hell wasn't him or Krory.

"Oh, ah, yes! Yes you may, please and thank you!" Lavi stepped forward, saving them from potential disaster. "Could you, ah," Lavi put a hand to his chin, squinting inquisitively and getting extremely close to her in the hope that she would focus on him and not his befuddled companions, "show us some, some…" he turned, gaze flickering between Kanda and Allen rather urgently, "What is it you want exactly, dear?"

"We'd like some evening gowns!" piped Allen, breaking rank and stepping forward to join Lavi who played off his new knowledge immediately,

"Ah, yes! Quite right!"

"For me," Allen and Lavi both spun around incredulously to see with their own eyes that it really was Kanda, and not someone doing a grand imitation of him, who had spoken. To both their surprises, his previous pissed off aura had dissipated entirely and he now looked elegant, composed, and (through some, Godly or otherwise, intervention) the very picture of exotic trophy wife beauty. The only person besides of course the fitter, who was too busy being stuffy and thinking about how soon she got off work to be observant, who took Kanda's unexpected improvisation in stride was Krory.

He draped an arm over Kanda's shoulders and closed his eyes aristocratically, sniffing, "Indeed, my dear. And we hope _not_ to be disappointed by this three star establishment!"

This jab at the store's credentials got the austere woman's attention and she immediately stepped up her servicing, offering a graceful bow, "I assure you you won't be!" Right this way, please!"

* * *

It took the combined brilliance of Lavi asking too many unanswerable questions and Kanda randomly selecting a dress and swearing up and down that it was his final choice to chase off the waspy fitter. Nuisance disposed, the four huddled in a corner under the guise of discussing Kanda's choice to hurl accusations as per usual.

"Kanda, what were you playing at! I was wholly prepared to take the woman's part! I have to! Miranda and I are the same height!"

"But not the same build, moyashi!"

"Yu has got a point. He's the most curvaceous of all of us and you _are_ a wee bit on the thin side, Allen."

"I am not curvaceous, dumba-"

"True, Lavi! Plus that _awful_ salesclerk won't be able to say much if it's a tad short on him while it would be hard to work past it being too big if Allen tried it on… She scares me _so_ much, aru!" Krory cringed, glancing over the rows of clothing to where she was assisting a young couple.

"How can I be curvaceous if I don't have breasts, idiot!"

"You have other assets to fill out the figure, Yu."

"That is a problem though!" Allen looked down thoughtfully, nibbling the tip of a finger. "Miranda's certainly very, er, buxom…"

"Yeah," sighed Lavi dreamily, distant smile creeping across his face. "Not a day goes by when I don't pat myself on the back for noticing that…"

"Oh, shut up-"

"She's coming back!" hissed Krory, glancing back over his shoulder.

The fitter was on the move.

"Bitch," muttered Kanda under his breath before grabbing his dress and heading off to intersect her, ordering as he slipped past, "solve the boob problem while I stall her! We have to start looking for real this time around."

"That's easy. I can guess her size to a tee. I'll go in with Yu and stuff his dress to see if it's right or-"

"Certainly not!"

"Krory's right! A man can't go into the ladies dressing room! With another man's wife nonetheless!" Lavi rolled his eye,

"Allen, come on! We're all guys in reality, it can't be avoided-"

"Yes it can. I'm pretty sure the Devil in Pradas thinks I'm your…" Allen struggled to say it aloud, "girlfriend. So I'll go."

"Don't be silly-"

"Allen's correct Lavi. Besides, if any of us goes, it _should not_ be you," Krory glared accusingly, "I know your ways."

Before Lavi could defend himself, Kanda's purposefully loud voice cued the end of their discussion time, "Yes, I'd like to try another. It's too tight at the hips and the texture is awful!"

"Show Allen the size! Quick!" whispered Krory before he swept forward, blocking the row and providing ample hiding area. "Yes, she said it was dreadfully scratchy! Can you show us some finer fabrics? Ah! Over there! Some silks, I see!" Krory ushered a relieved-looking Kanda and anxious to please fitter in the opposite direction, leaving Lavi and Allen isolated in the corner.

"K, Allen, listen up."

"Wait, what size? What's he-" Allen's eyes expanded in horror as comprehension struck upon seeing Lavi's expression.

He looked quite like he had the day in the kitchen when he'd practiced advances on Miranda.

Allen went through a quick succession of disgust and terror before settling with defeat. "Okay show me… let's get it over with…"

The slightly sympathetic junior bookman gave him a quick pat on the shoulder.

"You're not going to die of perversion stroke or something. A guy should know his way around bosoms anyways, Allen. It's just your misfortune to learn sooner than later."

* * *

"No, _really_, we can handle it from here, thanks!" Lavi insisted exasperatedly. The fitter was determined through.

"Why don't we try searching over there if you are unsatisfied with-"

"Madame!"

It is a singular and rare person who can contain their shock when first spotting Arystar Krory, even at a distance. It is an even more singular and much rarer individual who can keep from cringing when meeting him, quite literally, face to face. Clearly the tenacious service woman was nothing special.

"Ah!" she gave a little gasp when she turned to find the pale, fine-boned visage only inches from her own.

"How much must I pay you to send you on you way and out of ours?"

For quite a while she could do nothing but stand rooted to the spot, shaking and staring. At last she managed, "I-I… I'll be o-over, over there if you…" Krory swooped up to a vertical position as she finished in barely a whisper, "if you need me for anything…"

Once she was well out of ear shot, Lavi breathed, "Thanks, Kuro… I was ready to knock her out and hide her in a clothing rack."

"Not nearly as ready as me, usagi!" Kanda rubbed his temples, snarling in the direction she'd left. "I _hate_ women…"

"Enough chatter! Let's split up into pairs to cover more ground… we've wasted enough time. Lavi," Krory put a hand on his companion's shoulder, "with me. Kanda," he pointed with the other pearly hand to where a slightly green-tinged Allen was repeatedly stroking a random dress, looking haunted, "with Allen. Take the left half of the store and we'll take the right. Call when you've found something!"

"Oi, moyashi!" the swordsman sauntered over as an eager Lavi and imperial-looking Krory headed off to the far wall, "You heard Krory! Snap out of it and let's go!"

* * *

"Ooh! I _like_ this one, Kuro!"

"Hmm…"

"See? Check that out!"

""Mm… I think not…"

"Aw, come on, Krow!"

* * *

"This is pretty, Kanda!"

"Che. Let me feel it… No way! It feels like crap! If I'm trying it on it has to be nice, dammit!"

"Shush! My word, you really _must_ stop with the language!… Aaah… Oh, here! This is soft!"

"But it's ugly as hell! It looks like dead birds glued to silk."

"Filthy hypocrite! If you're so blooming picky why don't you make some suggestions?"

"Fine. This way."

* * *

"Oh! I… I think this is lovely!"

"Lemme see… Ug, Kuro. That looks like someone's grandmother's burial dress. It's like death by lace."

"How can you not see its beauty!"

"Come off it, Kuro! We need something more modern and sleek! Something like… this!"

"A strapless gown! Certainly, definitely, irrefutably _not!_ How very crude and suggestive! Provocative even!"

"Geez, Krow! Chill out! I'm sure we can find a happy median…"

"You womanizing fiend…"

"What was that, Kuro?"

"Hmp."

* * *

"Here."

"Oh! Oh, I like it, Kanda! I like it…"

"Alright, let's get them over here-"

"But it is _rather_ plain."

"What?"

"It's run-of-the-mill. Dull. Miranda needs to shine in her dress! Find something a _wee_ more stylized…"

"Che!"

* * *

"This has sleeves!"

"What a scandalous neckline! It might as well not have a top!"

"Okay, how about this?"

"That split on the skirt leaves nothing hidden… Might as well ask her to dress in a tank top and under garments!"

"Mmkay…"

"Ah! Now here's a _gown_!"

"Tsk! She'll burn up in that, Krow! No long sleeves…"

"I see your point… We could cut them off, it's so terribly gorgeous!"

"_Krow_…"

"Alright, aru…"

* * *

"Oh, here's a grand one- no… no, no… Perhaps in a red-ug! Hideous! Kanda, what do you think of this one- never mind. I hate it… Ooh, this one's absolutely majestic! Ah, but she's too conservative for that style, I think… hm… Here we are! This one's decent, wouldn't you say-oh! Kanda!"

"What?"

"That's _beautiful!_"

"What?"

"That one! In your hand!"

Kanda turned to where he had randomly been shuffling through dresses while trying to keep up with Allen's showcasing. He pulled the hanger off the rack and looked back to a positively bursting Allen.

"This one?"

"Oh, _yes!_"

"Stop it! You're being incredibly effeminate… It makes me… uncomfortable…"

"Go try it on!"

"Really? It's pretty damn mediocre-"

"No, trust me! Try it on! I'll be in in a moment, I have to go get the others!" Allen spun to leave but then whipped back around and, for the second time that day, attacked him with an embrace. Kanda froze, caught wholly off guard and even more taken aback by the mysterious increase of his heartbeat as the fine silver hair brushed his cheek and a soft whisper brushed his ear, "You're _brilliant_, Kanda!" And before all the details of their contact had registered (like the fact that Allen could barely touch the ground and was pretty much dangling from his neck or that the little heart beating against his was pounding just as fast as his own) Allen was gone, streaking through the rows of clothing towards the veritable beacon of Lavi's crimson hair and the towering dark form of Krory.

"Troublesome moyashi…"

* * *

"Kanda? Kanda, where are you?"

"Right here," Allen jumped as a dressing room door swung open enough to permit passage for Kanda's head, dark hair swept over his shoulder.

Allen could not help but stare dumbly at him for a few seconds. He'd only seen the irritable exorcist's hair down once before and the whole effect made him somewhat unrecognizable at first glance.

A scowl twitched at the strong, angled features and Kanda said evenly despite his evident impatience, "Do be a dear and stop standing there blushing. I need some help with the zipper." Allen blinked himself into action, giving the suspicious looking dressing room monitor a small wave as he ducked in after Kanda's head. Upon rotating in the small space to face his fellow faux female Allen gave a delighted inhale.

"It's gorgeous!" he squeaked.

"Could you get the god-damned zipper already?" Allen obliged but did not stop his oohs and aahs, peering around Kanda on either side as he rather carelessly did up the zipper. His fingers brushed the pale, tense back, forcing a quiet snap from Kanda who jerked at the touch, "_Aren!_"

"Oh! Sorry, sorry!" He distractedly finished the job and then stepped back (a phrase used loosely here for there was little room to step anywhere), gushing admiration. "She's going to look _stunning!_" Kanda craned his neck to stare back at Allen and after a hesitant heartbeat's time nodded.

"I think so too. But we have to check the bust first."

Allen drooped.

"This is so very distressing… Downright base if ever a thing was, ah-well," Allen shrank to the wall and navigated around to Kanda's front, snatching the swordsman's discarded clothes as he did so and looking matter-of-fact, "For Miranda, I suppose…" With their mantra repeated, he began stuffing Kanda's garments down the sagging dress front.

"We need all of those?"

"Yup…" Allen fought to keep the green from returning to his face as he shaped the makeshift bosom. "I have to be able to," he swallowed, "put my hand to one with it spread wide enough to palm a football."

Both went quiet, wrapped in unwanted fantasies, until the job was done. Allen spread his hand to the size of an imaginary black and white octagon adorned ball, squeezed his eyes shut, and pressed the hand against Kanda's awkwardly humped chest.

"Good!" he announced shrilly, clutching the hand as if it were infected and rotting away as they stood there.

"Good," breathed Kanda, anxious to change the subject.

"Let's show the guys."

* * *

"Whew!" Lavi let out a low whistle. "Damn, Yu! If I didn't know better…"

"Can it!" mouthed Kanda dangerously.

"It's indescribable! Word transcending! She'll blow everyone away, most definitely!" Krory clasped his hands in delight, beaming.

"Won't she though!" Allen agreed fondly. "Kanda made a truly miraculous find!"

"So we're all sold?" Lavi looked at his two glowing observers and then at their rather bored looking model. "This is the one?"

"Oh, yes!"

"If agreeing will get me out of it any faster."

"We could not have found anything better!"

"Great! Phase dress buying is a wrap!" Lavi put a hand on Krory and Kanda's shoulders, the passel forming a circle. He grinned around at all of them, the smile spreading to each and everyone of them, even the perpetually glowering swordsman. "Looks like we did it, men!"

The click of heels burst their bubble of elation as the sharp featured fitter appeared at the end of their gathering, lips pursed and meticulously manicured hands on hips, "I beg your pardon?"


End file.
